Bacon sabotage
Eating vegetarian on campus is a joke, especially when there are little bacon surprises in almost everything. Just last week, my lunch was once again sabotaged by hidden bacon bits.
My stomach growled as I stood in line. I was borderline hangry and I was trying my hardest to not rip into the obviously new girl working at the cafe. Despite her best efforts, the line was out the door.
I scanned my options: there was broccoli and cheese soup or a savory muffin. Oh my gosh! That savory muffin called to me. It was filled with onions and pepper and there was cheese sprinkled on the top. My mouth watered. But there’s no such thing as something savory without bacon in it. But maybe today was my lucky day. Maybe.
I got to the font of the line and smiled at the girl working the cash register. “What’s in the savory muffin?”
“It looks like it has cheese and peppers,” the girl said through her smile. She was way too eager to have worked at this cafe for longer than a week.
“Yeah, but usually savory muffins have bacon in them…” I said, trying to indicate with my tone that I was uncomfortable with dead animal touching the rest of my muffin.
“Well, I don’t think there is bacon in this one,” the campus dining worker said as she nervously eyed the growing line of equally hungry college students behind me. She was trying to tell me I was taking too long.
“OK,” I said. “I guess I’ll get tha—”
“That definitely has bacon in it,” the Muslim man behind me interrupted. I turned and made eye contact with him. He was also team “no bacon.” It was nice to have someone on my side.
“Uhm. Well…,” I said as I tried to suppress the edge in my voice. I knew it wasn’t her fault there was bacon in the muffin. I tried to go as quickly as I could because I didn’t want everyone behind me in line to be frustrated or late to class. “What’s in the broccoli and cheese soup?”
“I’m pretty sure it’s a basic broccoli and cheese soup,” she said.
“That sounds great. I’ll go with that,” I said, relieved I made it through the conversation without hangrily tearing the girl to shreds.
I paid and sat down to take a bite. The soup was ruined by microscopic bits of bacon. Defeated, I threw the soup away.
I’m sure you all love bacon surprises, but it’s hard for me to find something healthy, cheap and baconless. There aren’t enough options for vegetarians and vegans when it comes to on-campus dining options.
— Journalist. Radio host. Storyteller. People lover. Food enthusiast. Zumba fan. Dog fanatic. Wife.
@morganprobinson
morgan.pratt.robinson@gmail.com