Best age to get married is above Utah average, according to experts
It’s no mystery that people in Utah get married young. Utah has the nation’s youngest average age for a first marriage – 24 for women, and 26 for men. This contrasts the rest of the nation – 27 for women, 29 for men – and puts Utah three years below the national average.
“Sixty or 70 years ago, both nationally and historically, getting married marked the beginning of adult life. Back then, it was shameful to be a bachelor. They were looked down upon,” said Utah State University’s Jeffrey Dew, associate professor of family consumer and human development.
Now, people are waiting longer and longer to get married. The national average in 1960 was 20 for women and 22 for men. Dew said that is because of the shift in the importance of marriage and a shift in what it means to get married.
“Today people don’t marry until they feel like they have arrived,” said Dew. “It is more of a capstone.”
Dew credits Utah’s low average age on its cultural conservatism and slowness to embrace certain societal movements.
“Utah didn’t embrace the sexuality of the ’70s and hasn’t embraced the progressiveness of what sexuality is today,” Dew said. “So I think in Utah, marriage is not an arrival or capstone; it is still the start of what it means to be an adult.”
On July 16, Nicholas Wolfinger, professor of family and consumer studies and adjunct professor of sociology at the University of Utah, published a study on the U’s Institute of Family Studies blog that found there is a near perfect age to get married — and it’s not Utah’s average.
The study reinforces old data showing that young marriages are likely to end in divorce.
“Someone who marries at 25 is over 50 percent less likely to get divorced than someone who weds at age 20,” said Wolfinger. “Most youthful couples simply do not have the maturity, coping skills and social support it takes to make marriage work.”
Utah State University alumnus, Chase Christensen, experienced this first hand. Christensen met his ex-wife at a USU basketball game, and after a couple of years of dating they got married – him at 24, her at 21. The marriage lasted 9 months.
“It’s interesting being married while you’re still in college because everyone is having parties and hanging out, and it adds a weird dynamic to a marriage,” Christensen said. “Being young, there was a fear of missing out because even though you’re married, everyone is still living around you.”
Christensen said that because of his age, he was comfortable with himself, and at the same time his ex-wife was still trying to find that comfort.
“I was older, and I wasn’t forming who I was, but she didn’t know who she was or what she wanted, and when your personality changes that much in college, or your formative years, it’s hard on a marriage because they require a lot of stability,” he said.
Once the divorce finalized, Christensen began to date again. He started talking to a girl from USU, who he dated and married a year later.
“If I could give anyone advice, I would tell them to wait,” Christensen said.
Wolfinger’s study would suggest people do the same — but not for too long. Marriage while one is in their early 20s shows high rates of divorce, and marriage in their late 20s shows the lowest levels of divorce. But marriage above the age of 32 shows an increase of divorce by 5 percent per year of age at marriage.
Sophomore Maicy Robison and junior Clint Robison married this summer. They met at a USU basketball game, and by end of the semester, it wasn’t a question of if they were going to get married, but how and when.
They had first planned to wait a year for marriage but decided that out of convenience and financial benefits, like shared rent and Pell Grants, that they would get married in the summer.
Clint Robison said he’s not worried about their young age being a negative factor.
“When you get married young, you can build habits together instead of having to sacrifice for each other’s individual habits later in life,” he said.
For Dew, it is hard to see marriage as just a numbers game. While age often serves a decent indicator of preparedness and maturity, just focusing on age misses the complexities of marriage.
Dew said it will also take an understanding of each other and yourself, an understanding of what marriage entails and that it is hard work and being able to make sacrifices for someone or to be other-oriented. Each person or couple has to decide if they are ready. Some people may never be ready, he said.
“The best indicators of a successful marriage are you have to be good friends. You can’t just be in love,” Dew said. “What is called love is all just brain chemicals. While that sounds crass, you do need a friendship in addition to the spark.”
Maicy Robison offered a similar sentiment.
“Numbers are a thing you throw around. It’s how strong you are as a person and with your partner,” she said.
“Do people get married young? Yes. Is it a problem? For some it might be,” Dew said.
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