Beyond the Game: How to have the perfect Super Bowl party

One Super Bowl ticket: $600.

A 30 second commercial during the Super Bowl: $2.6 million.

Getting to watch both for free: Priceless.

The Super Bowl is probably the most sacred non-religious, single -day event in the world. Literally billions of people will be watching. Some for the game, some for the commercials and maybe one or two people for the Rolling Stones halftime show.

But most won’t be watching from their own home by themselves. Super Bowl parties have become just as much of a tradition as the game itself. Everyone interested in the game will hear about at least three different parties they could attend. Here’s a few tips to making your party the best of the bunch:

You need to have good food. A Super Bowl party without food is like a wedding without a bride. It just can’t happen without it. But you can’t just grill some steaks and set out some Tostitos and dip and call it good. You have to work the food in around the game.

This is where it can get a little tricky. If the game goes down to the wire, there won’t be many people interested in eating towards the end of the game because they’ll be watching. But if the game is a blowout, everyone’s attention goes back to the Buffalo wings.

This year’s game is tough to predict. Pittsburgh took the first two-thirds of the season off before they decided to start trying. Its last three wins have been huge, but it’s hard to tell if it will carry over.

Seattle went extremely untested this season. It only played six games against teams with a winning record (and one of those was the Colts when they didn’t care). Its first playoff game was a close win over an overrated Washington, but its win over Carolina was impressive.

Either team could run away with it, making your food preparation difficult. The rule of thumb here is: When in doubt, prepare for the blowout. If the game is close and the hot dogs don’t get eaten, then you’ll have some leftovers. No big deal.

Another important thing when hosting a Super Bowl party is etiquette. Don’t ruin the commercials for everyone else by talking or getting up to go to the bathroom. Wait for a break in the action like when the game comes on again or when one of those stupid local commercials comes on to remind us that the News starts at 10 p.m.

What’s the deal with those anyway? The network could have sold those 10 seconds to Budweiser for about a million dollars, giving everyone one more laugh, but instead we get to see the local news anchor with his fake smile and gray-dyed-brown hair tell us that President Bush did something today. Who cares? Stop wasting our time!

Anyway, back to the party. Occasionally, there will actually be some real entertainment during halftime, which wreaks havoc on your dinner plans. This year however, there won’t be a problem.

With the Rolling Stones getting rolled out onto the stage, there will be no extra-wardrobe activity or anything that you’ll need to know about when talking to your friends the next day, unless Keith Richards finally overdoses on stage. So plan dinner and bathroom breaks for halftime.

If there is anything else that seems like it’s missing, just trust your gut. And your gut will always tell you that you need more food.

Comments can be sent to Bryan Hinton at

bhinton@cc.usu.edu.