Can I Kiss You?
As part of the Arts and Lectures series, guest lecturer Mike Domitrz entered the Taggart Student Center Stevenson Ballroom Wednesday encouraging the audience to get on their feet and “make some noise.”
Domitrz’s presentation, “Can I Kiss You?: Dating, Communication, Respect and Sexual Assault Awareness,” included humorous and helpful dating tips, as well as sexual assault awareness to coincide with the Red Zone.
“Body language is unreliable,” Domitrz said.
It keeps both people on the date guessing, he said, and they are both usually wrong. Another option, a better option in the dating scene, is honesty and communication.
A big misconception in the dating world, is that the man should take control on a datehe said. That is unhealthy to think, because it could mean the woman is giving up control. But, if a guy is sincere and asks a girl, “Can I kiss you?” Then that shows the girl that she is respected and not trying to be controlled.
“Take one moment to care by showing respect,” Domitrz said.
Many of the students enjoyed listening to Domitrz.
“It was awesome. He made it cool to ask [about kissing],” said Mark Montgomery, a freshman majoring in biology.
Neal Sullivan, a junior studying family and human development, said the tips Domitrz gave were very simple and straightforward.
“The information is something that we can take home and remember,” Sullivan said.
Domitrz’s inspiration for going around to different college campuses around the country and giving this talk, he said, is his sister. She was brutally raped while he was at college, he said.
“I wanted to make a difference. Before what happened with my sister, I would have never thought that I wasn’t giving respect,” he said.
Domitrz related himself to the rapist. The rapist didn’t ask, but neither has Domitrz in the past when he has kissed a girl.
He said even though it was nowhere near the seriousness of rape, it’s still a question he has to ask himself. Did he have permission?
“There is no gray area,” he said. “It’s black and white whether you have permission or not. And the only way you know you have permission is by asking.”
He said he wants to make people think before they do something.
Bethany Youngs, Associated Students of USU’s Arts and Lectures vice president, said she estimated between 300 and 400 students showed up for Domitrz’s lecture.
“There was really good audience participation,” she said. “He made a really good connection with the audience. A successful lecture is one where when everybody who goes there leaves with something.”
Cristyle Garrard, a sophomore majoring in aerospace engineering, said because of Domitrz’s sense of humor, “it wasn’t embarrassing to listen to.”
“Usually this kind of topic would make people feel uncomfortable, but it didn’t,” Garrard said.
The greatest reward, Domitrz said, is receiving e-mails and corresponding with people who, because of his talks, now think differently. Another reward, he said, is to hear from a survivor or a victim who now knows that it wasn’t them with the problem, but that it was their attacker who did something wrong.
“At all times, I will show, live with, give and expect respect,” he said. “I will always ask.”
-sarahwest@cc.usu.edu