COLUMN: 10 ways to manage the stress of Finals Week

Tam Rounds

Take your temperature, yep, that’s spring fever that you got. This yearly epidemic indiscriminately afflicts individuals young and old, rich or poor. But students, in particular, must be on the watch for the symptoms of a noxious secondary condition that oft accompanies spring fever – Finals Week Despair (FWD).
    FWD warning signs include sleeplessness, indigestion, irritability, irrational behavior, but the most common symptom is a pervading anxiety. Extreme cases of meltdown can result in the super-nuclear destruction of one’s GPA.
    I once had a roommate who locked herself in her room with a Ouija board, intent on conducting study groups with her “spirit guides” for an entire seven days. The frazzled mess who escaped the demons at the end of the week was bewildered to discover she had missed her exams. I swear she has not been the same since.
    Although FWD is rarely lethal, its effects can linger and is best treated preventatively. The following is a prescribed remedy thought to be most effective in treating FWD. The FDA cautions us in claiming that the condition is curable, but many of the symptoms can be alleviated with this method.
    1) First, and foremost, STUDY. Well, duh! But not the last minute, keep-yourself-up-with-Red-Bull-laced-espressos, cramming kind of study. Make a plan. Give yourself a good two weeks with an hour or two per day dedicated to finals study. Reach into your arsenal of tricks that you gained in Psych 1730 and really use them this time. Chunk your time, find a good study place, make flash cards and turn off Facebook.
    2) Take 15- to 30-minute breaks. Study those chunks and then break, and don’t think about the subject: play a video game, take a bath, do yoga, go feed the duck-geese hybrids at First Dam.
    3) If you are a social learner, get a group of classmates together to study.  Don’t forget to break during group study as well, kick off a classic game of hacky sack or maybe even musical chairs. I once attended a study session where we took turns giving massages. WARNING! This can backfire. I had my eye on trading magic fingers with a junior hottie and ended up being squeezed by Mr. Sweaty Palms.
    4) Meditate. Those who have a difficult time achieving nirvana can seduce themselves into relaxing by playing gently lifting music and visualizing themselves on a beach or in a forest, wherever is most tranquil. I can usually ease myself into a peaceful state by simply reading a menu of pedicures from a shi-shi spa in SLC.
    5) Use aromatherapy. Calming scents have been shown to aid concentration as well as relaxation. Lavender and mint are traditionally the best fragrances, but use one that is soothing to you. My formerly mentioned roommate would douse our house in men’s Drakkar and light patchouli incense sticks, which I found to be entirely distracting — that cologne stimulates boy-crazy hormones that cannot concentrate on parabolas or quadratic equations, hmmm … Earthly Awakenings, a local purveyor of exotic fragrances and essential oils stocks a comprehensive selection of study friendly smells.
    6) Get sufficient sleep. This is the step that most patients falter on. The realities of college life are the least inducive to proper sleep habits, but your brain functions best with rest. If you want your memory recall to be in tip-top shape for test day don’t skimp on the zzzz’s.
    7) Schedule in exercise, bowling, hiking or tree-climbing during the weeks prior to finals. Physical activity releases tension and aids in clearing the cobwebs that inhibit brain function. Consider it stretching or foreplay — whatever gets you in the zone!
    8) Spaz out. OK, some of us are too cool. We may have to drive up the canyon to find an isolated, unobserved location to do this. The rest of us who embrace our inner spaz can free the demons while we await delivery of our pineapple-pepperoni pizza at the Marketplace. Shake your bad self, arms flailing, and release that primal scream that you’ve been dying to shout out. Liberate those pesky poltergeists: this house is clear!
    9) DO NOT STUDY THE NIGHT BEFORE. This is important, hence the caps. If you have prepared as I’ve urged, you are ready — just relax, do something fun, kick back with the roomies, watch “Legally Blond” for the umpteenth time. Have a laugh party and see how sore your cheeks can feel by night’s end.  And make that night end early; give yourself an extra hour of sleep.
    10) I know it is cliché, but eat a satisfying breakfast the morning before your exam. And this is not the time for that gut-busting, reheated chile verde burrito. A dyspeptic bowel is the crappiest hand that you can deal yourself at this point.
    Students who follow this destress prescription are sure to ace their exams or, at the very least, not care too much if they bomb.
    Students who have not followed these indications should apply the opposite of step nine. If you haven’t picked up your textbook and the test looms sometime tomorrow, CRAM HARD. You are definitely suffering the symptoms of FWD and your final hope is to pray to Zeus for a tsunami or Armageddon to allow you some leeway time.
   
    This column was written by Tam Rounds. Comments can be left at aggietownsquare.com