COLUMN: A list so nice I’m doing it twice
I have a frequent reader, who oddly enough, for the last three or four weeks and for reasons well above me, has requested I make a hearty “Sister, Sister” reference in one of my columns.
I was more than happy to oblige, but it got me thinking, “Prithee, who would make the list of the best TV twins and triplets of all time?”
Funny. Original. I just couldn’t pass it up, so I’m giving it a try. Heck, while I’m at it, in the spirit of these terrible Tibble tandems, I’ll select each spot on the list in twos or threes.
So here it goes, “Steve’s Top Five TV Twins and Triplets.”
Please note, Mary Kate and Ashley are banned, get over it.
5. “Full House” – Nicky and Alex Katsopolis, “The Tick” – The Bee Twins – Our lists’ forerunners make the cut for respectively claiming my two biggest character traits: cute and funny. The ever-famous Katsopolis boys easily win the cute nod, whereas anyone who remembers the short-lived and should-be-cult-classic “The Tick” can recall the pair of awkwardly hilarious villain accomplices who were the Bee Twins, proving that a solid duo of weird, evil sidekicks is the icing on any super-hero-television-program-embossed cake.
4. “The Simpsons” – Patty and Selma Bouvier, “The Simpsons” – Terri and Sherri – Easy explanation, I had to work in at least one of these famous Simpsons duos, and I figured it’s my friggin’ column, why choose? An honorable mention is due here to Apu’s octuplets, who by the way are named Anoop, Gheet, Nabendu, Poonam, Pria, Sandeep, Sashi and Uma. Yes, I memorized them. It’s how I roll.
3. “Doug” – Al and Moo Sleech, “Pepper Ann” – Tessa and Vanessa, “Recess” – Digger Dave and Digger Sam – Oh, how I love a good, frequent non-principal comic-relief duo — truly the glue that holds any Saturday morning kids’ show together — holla at me, Bulk and Skull. These three choices bring that feeling ever so vividly to life and even cover all the token twin basics: the nerds Al and Mo, the gossip crew Tessa and Vanessa, and the oddball format benders Dave and Sam.
2. “Sister Sister” – Tamera Campbell and Tia Landry, “The Powerpuff Girls” – Blossum, Bubbles and Buttercup – Tia and Tamera, not only the reason this list was ever birthed, but are given great credit for one reason alone: I can never. Get your names. Out of. My. Head. It doesn’t matter how bad your show was, what type of clothes you wear, what kind of music you listen to or how much I wanted you to date Kennan and Kel. Your names alone grant my full approval. If I didn’t know better, I’d claim your names were taken from a Naughty by Nature song.
Now, in all due respect, Powerpuff girls, as much as I loved your show, you mainly make the list so I can point out how much I enjoy saying “chemical X” in a raspy dramatic voice. Try it sometime. I swear on my life it won’t disappoint.
1. “Ducktales” – Huey, Dewey, and Louie, “Rugrats” – Phil and Lil DeVille – What’s there to say? They have it all — perfect supporting roles, catchy-as-bones names, exceedingly adventurous and cuter than a purring Twinkie.
Phil and Lil, possibly the coolest toddlers in modern history, taught me it’s perfectly okay to have matching outfits, so long as you both have rubber duckies on your overalls. On the other hand, there is the ever-legendary duck trio, forever accompanying me in a childhood in which I always wished I had two identical brothers and a marble we aptly named the “Great Masher” — the coolest ‘90s sporting implement since the Knuckle Puck.
These ticklesome tag teams just couldn’t miss in their times, even if we know for a fact they individually couldn’t do it alone.
I hope you enjoyed the list as much as I did. And to think I went through the whole thing without twin-themeingly writing the same sentence twice.
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Thought I was gonna repeat that last sentence again, didn’t you? Sorry, folks. You can’t pin me down.
– Steve Schwartzman is a junior majoring in marketing and minoring in speech communication. His column runs every Wednesday. He loves sports, comedy and creative writing. He encourages any comments at his email steve.schwartzman@aggiemail.usu.edu, or find him on Facebook.