COLUMN: A newlywed’s guide to marraige
“Mawige. Mawige is what bwings us togeva today.”
We’ve all heard this classic line from “The Princess Bride,” and most girls have probably longed for such a fairy-tale romance.
However, the truth hurts, and what once seemed to be a perfect fairy tale might change once reality sets in.
My husband and I were married a little less than two months ago and we’ve been having a blast. But it has definitely been interesting trying to adjust to living with each other.
Here are some words of wisdom to help keep reality in check.
(Disclaimer: This may not apply to every marriage and may seem somewhat stereotypical.)
For the Wives:
1. Remember when you thought, once you were married you could get him to change a couple things? Well, think again; he still won’t let you pick out his clothes and he still won’t accept advice on his hair. Face it girls, you can’t change his fashion. Well, that is if guys even consider it fashion.
2. Once you are married, things are great; what’s his is yours and what’s yours is yours.
3. For those wives who didn’t grow up around brothers, you might be in for a big surprise.
My dad once said, “You’ll get to find out if he’s a wiper or a flinger” (of boogers of course). And you should be prepared to leave a room, or maybe even the house after he passes gas. After all, you are married now and completely comfortable with each other; he no longer feels he needs to hold anything back.
4. For those of you who enjoyed a little time to yourself, I will quote a newlywed I knew back home, “He’s always there.”
5. I know that for me, I was used to eating whatever I wanted whenever I wanted. Typically, women do not eat as much as men, however, once you’re married remember that guys are hungry – all the time. It’s twice the food and twice as much.
6. The remote control is usually in his hands, which means two things: ESPN or ESPN2.
7. Remember no matter what you do, you cannot change him. So, hopefully you love him enough to exercise a lot of patience.
8. Men are not emotional. Therefore they do not always share their feelings. But, it’s not that they don’t care.
9. Keep in mind your husband does really love you, that’s why he
married you.
10. Remember that men have their pride. So, don’t try and mess with it, because that’s when they get stubborn.
For the Husbands:
1. Buying electronics just because they’re cool is no longer acceptable, at least not in her eyes.
2. Wives are touchy-feely, so get over it. They like to be held, cuddled with and kept warm throughout the day and the night.
3. Remember all the space you had to roll around in during the night? Cut it in half, and try not to steam roll her while she’s sleeping. Also, she gets to choose the side of the bed, you are stuck with what is leftover.
4. As far as space goes, you always get what’s left over in every case. Like the closet, plan on one-quarter of it at the most.
5. Remember, men are usually 100 percent more easy-going about certain things than women are. So humor her, it is probably more important to her anyway.
6. Make the decisions. Your wife will have an opinion but might not express it until later. So, just make sure you pick the right answer, or plan to suffer the wrath of an angry wife.
7. You must realize women just need to talk. They don’t necessarily want your advice, so keep quiet and just listen. They will appreciate you just being there.
8. Never try to do anything else when your wife is talking to you. Because if you are doing something else, even though you may be listening, without the eye contact your wife will think otherwise.
9. Keep in mind, what she wants is what she gets.
10. But above all, you aren’t just getting a wife when you get married, you gain a female roommate and all remaining perks (cooking, cleaning … etc.).
It’s not an exact science, but it is possible that a few of these rules and many more may apply. But what I do know is being married is the best thing in my life so far. Nothing beats being married to your best friend. It may be hard to adjust to sometimes, but it’s worth it.
I would like to thank my husband for his insight that contributed to this article.
Katie Higgins is a junior majoring is speech communication. Comments can be sent to klm@cc.usu.edu.