COLUMN: Are we offending our Norwegian friends
I have never been one to put much stock in statistics. In fact, a friend of mine once told me 98 percent of all statistics were made up on the spot. I believe him, 103 percent.
At the same time, a couple of months back, I saw an article in The Herald Journal which showed statistics concerning the number of international students attending USU, naming the different countries and the amount of students represented by each. I was very delighted and intrigued by the wonderful diversity of cultures and nations represented here at Utah State University. There was, however, one thing that bothered me. According to the numbers displayed in the article, there is not one Norwegian student registered here at USU.
There are an ignorant few of you who would like to believe the reason there are no Norwegians here at USU is because, if they were going to go to a college in the United States, it is not likely they would even know there was a college in Utah, let alone decide to attend it.
But you and I both know that isn’t possible, so the obvious question is, what have we done to offend our Norwegian friends? Clearly there must be some students doing something that is keeping them from choosing to come to Utah State. What students are responsible for this? Well, it could be you. If you send hate mail to Norwegians on a weekly basis, you could be part of the problem. I realize this is a blanket statement and doesn’t apply to all Norwegian hate mail, but you might want to take a close look at it. If you constantly commit the error of referring to Norway as Finland, Sweden, Zimbabwe or any of the other Baltic States, you have contributed to worsening the situation. If you are in the habit of off-handedly using Norwegian swear words in your day-to-day conversations, once again, you could be hurting more than helping.
If you’re like me, and guilty of most of the above, then you’re thinking to yourself, “Oh, _______ (insert Norwegian swear word here), I have single-handedly kept an entire nation from representing itself here at USU.” Not to worry. I have thought long and hard over this issue and have come up with a solution. In order to increase our Norwegian student attendance, I propose each student do some or all of the following:
1. Participate actively in Norwegian Student Awareness Week (NSAW) or join the Friends of Norway Club (FNC). Bearing in mind these two organizations – and therefore acronyms – don’t exist, you might want to see your ASUSU representative for more information.
2. Change the name of Logan Canyon to Logan “Fjord.” This will aid in making any visiting Norwegian feel at home.
3. Last, but certainly not least – in fact, probably most important – desist from making any sort of reference to “fry sauce” during any stage of the recruiting process. (Incidentally, this need not apply strictly to Norwegian student recruiting).
After receiving numerous complaints from dozens of insulted playwrights from my last article, I can understand what an unpleasant experience it is to be offended. We can’t afford to offend our prospective Norwegian students any longer, so I hope that sometime next year, while reading the paper, we can see that Norway has been added to the list of nations to grace our campus with their countrymen. You will probably not be surprised to know 67 percent of Norwegians and playwrights agree with me. The other 84 percent of them have no opinion.
Marty Reeder is a junior majoring in English education. Comments can be sent to martr@cc.usu.edu