COLUMN: Are you live or Memorex?
I was carrying a bag of blank CDs out of the local video/music store the other day when I caught my reflection in the Kinko’s Copy Center window and wondered “Am I live or Memorex?”
I think it is quite likely that in the near future we’ll be sending one another complete clone-perfect copies of ourselves. We are almost doing that now. We copy everything possible on tape, fax, film and photocopies. Jimi Hendrix, The Doors and Elvis are selling more albums and CDs now than they ever did when alive.
Why do we make copies? Because we can.
Darn near everything we have is a copy – music, movies, videos – it’s hard to trace the genealogy of copies back in your mind to the original performers. When people go to live rock and classical concerts now, they usually leave saying, “that was great, it sounded just like their CD.” So accustomed to the recording industry we have become that we don’t realize it should be the other way around. The CD should sound like the performer.
Of course, at the other extreme, I used to wonder how they were able to make Al Gore look so “lifelike.”
Even the church I go to makes audio cassette copies of the services. I sometimes wonder if the word of God is copyrighted and if you should be able to rebroadcast it. I worry that church services will soon be coming out on CDs. Can greatest hits and boxed sets be far behind?
It’s too easy to make copies nowadays. Anyone over age 30 will remember trying to line up carbon paper and trying not to make mistakes. Who can forget that fresh, slightly intoxicating, chemical smell of mimeographed handouts? Many of us thought we were getting our first illicit “high” from our history tests. No longer confined to the stone age, implements of carbon paper and mimeograph rollers, we are being buried in a sanitary landfill of copies.
The computer age was supposed to free us of paper, but fax machines, laser printers and the 24-hour availability of copying centers has made it easy to give everyone a copy of your latest bad poetry and the kids’ most recent stab at Picasso-like renderings.
Kinko’s Copy Centers are starting to outnumber McDonald’s. Bars in my town have to close at 1 a.m., but there are 24-hour copy centers. When was the last time you were desperately in need of a copy at 3 a.m.? Well, maybe it’s like buying Twinkies, you wait till odd hours to do some things. Who knows what people are copying at 3 a.m.?
However, it’s the electronic stuff that’s even scarier. People are actually videotaping their weddings and sending copies around. Infants are likely traumatized because their first bleary views of the world are looking down the business end of a video camera. I realize parents want to preserve historic moments, but delivery room videos? Who exactly are you going to share these with? They sound and look like a Stephen King production.
Copying has become a substitute for conversation and writing:
“It was a great vacation, I could tell you about it, but I would rather just send you the CD-ROM.”
“Well, I’ve been a little ill lately… I could explain it, but I’ll send you a copy of this medical report instead.”
“Oh, and by the way, Marge and I just had another child, I’ll send you a copy of the birth.”
I’m sort of looking forward to cloning becoming more readily available. Then, I can just send a whole copy of myself. It’ll save on postage and make personal ads a lot more interesting.