COLUMN: Choose your own adventure

I had a curfew until the day I moved out of my parent’s house.

Surprised? Yeah, so was I.

Now I choose when to go to bed (which is why I am up writing this column at 3 a.m.)

I also choose what to eat, when to eat, where to work, what classes to take, who I date, where I live, what career path I take and what to wear every day, just to name a few.

Unfortunately, I also suffer the consequences when I choose the wrong thing to wear and I am uncomfortable all day, waste my day and get nothing done, pick a ghetto apartment, hate my roommates, break up with my boyfriend, take an awful class, end up hating my job and forget to eat.

But that’s OK because I made the decision; therefore I get to accept the consequences.

I recently overheard a conversation where two people blamed their professor for the awful grades given on a recent midterm. The two girls went on for almost 20 minutes about how they didn’t deserve the grade they were given. Although through the course of the conversation, both openly admitted to never having actually read the material for the exam, neither one took responsibility for their failing grades.

On the other hand, I have a friend who has held the same policy since he began school. He never takes a test until he is feels confident he knows everything that will be on it. This means he spends every day the week before the test in the library.

As a result, he aces just about every test he takes. If on the off-chance he misses a question, he knows it for next time, but he also knows that it is his own fault he doesn’t know the answer. Making that choice to study, however, ensures his success – every time.

Every choice has consequences. When you choose something, you automatically choose the consequences.

A friend of mine who has chosen to stay with a destructive partner, chose the consequences of pain and suffering, another who chooses to continue to hold grudges and bitterness will also hold the consequences of being surrounded with constant hostility.

Right choices, however, bring right consequences. The point is to take responsibility for whatever those may be.

I have a close friend who has chosen to stop speaking to her parents. She has neglected her siblings and has severely damaged relationships that were once her lifeline. Unfortunately, those relationships will never be the same, which is an inevitable consequence of the choices she made, and she will have to accept her part of the responsibility for that. She’s created her situation and now she’s forced to live with it.

There are, of course, two sides to every story, but the point is that each side has the obligation to first acknowledge their part of the responsibility for their actions and accept the consequences that come with that. Playing the role of the victim or using past events to build a fortress of excuses never does anyone any good. It guarantees you no progress. No problem was ever fixed by blaming someone or something else. Whether the cards you’ve been dealt are good or bad, you’re in charge of how you play them. A bad hand can’t be blamed on the dealer.

Most of the time it has nothing to do with anyone but you, it’s not your parents fault, it has nothing to do with genes, you cannot dodge responsibility for how and why your life is the way it is.

If you don’t like your job, you are accountable. If you are overweight, you are accountable. If you are not happy, you are accountable. Every day you are creating the situations you are in.

Chances are if you are reading this you are legally an adult, you have moved out of your parents house, you graduated high school and you have moved on to a phase of life where you are in charge of yourself. It’s time to step up to the plate, if you’re not happy, change something. If you made a mistake, don’t blame someone else for it, fix it.

You’re the only one who can.

Pass it on.

Emma Tippetts is a senior majoring in law and constitutional studies and print journalism. Any comments or questions are welcome at etippetts@cc.usu.edu