COLUMN: Come to the Dork-side of the Force
I think the bookstore has it out for me. They don’t want me to ever graduate so that I can keep buying new books from them every year. They have succeeded in preventing me from attending many crucial classes, lectures and tests by always playing classic geek movies in the bottom floor of the TSC such as “Lord of the Rings,” “Ghostbusters” and, of course, “Tron.”
As amazing as cinematic achievements all of this films may be, no one them can stop me in my tracks before I brave the gauntlet of clubs and vendors like the great-granddaddy of all nerdy motion pictures. Naturally, I’m referring to “Star Wars.”
I’ve said it many times, but I love “Star Wars.” I love the glorious victory of “A New Hope.” I love the bitter twinge of defeat in “The Empire Strikes Back.” I especially love the gold bikini of “Return of the Jedi.”
But just as my affection for chili extends beyond merely eating it, my love for “Star Wars” goes far beyond the original trilogy. From the Dark Horse comic series to the new limited edition actions figures, if it’s got the registered trademark, I’ll use it to calm my jonesin’ for the Force.
I even love episodes one and two. This fact has made me an outcast, shunned, mocked and beat upon by my friends just for stating my opinion. At times I’ve even felt like the fifth dentist. You know, the one who still doesn’t recommend Trident.
This is not because – as I know some of you will suggest – because I have taken Lucas’s “special kool-aid” and will mindlessly eat up any drivel that he shovels out. It’s because light-sabers are, always have been and always will be, just about the coolest thing on earth and nothing you trendy little Lucas-bashers out there can to will change that. Do you hear me? Nothing!
Whoa, sorry, I get a little riled up about this stuff some times. You should see me when someone says Wolverine could beat up Spiderman.
I’ll admit though, the naming has been off as of late. “Attack of the Clones” sounds like a ’50s horror movie that “Mystery Science Theater 3000” would use and “The Phantom Menace” is just plain misleading. Not only were there no phantoms, nothing was really that menacing. They should have taken a more truthful approach and called it “The Amphibian Menace.”
I bring this topic up because I’m sure “Star Wars: Episode III Revenge of the Sith” will open in theaters on May 19. I’m actually more excited for this one than I was for Episode One. Partially because I can go to a midnight showing and not worry about class the next day.
I admit I’ll probably be in costume for the event. I don’t actually own any Jedi clothes but I figure the conclusion of my favorite sci-fi series only happens once so I might as well make the best of it.
Besides, even if I show up in full Jedi robes, complete with light-saber and a beard, there will surely be some kid crammed into a three foot tall garbage can, trying to wheel himself around like R2-D2 so I won’t be the geekiest one there.
I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous. What if the movie’s not as good as I hope it is? What if I hate it? Even if I love the movie, can I cope with the series being finished?
For the last one, I know I’ll be OK. The movies may be done, but that’s not what I truly love. I love the universe they describe. I love the fact that the more I find out about that world the more I find to enjoy.
Most of all, I love how as long as there’s a galaxy far far away, I’ll always have a place to belong.
Geek on.
Steve Shinney is a junior in computer science. Comments can be sent to steveshinney@cc.usu.edu or can be delivered in person to the front of the line for Episode Three at the local theater.