COLUMN: Dear Abbey, but not quite
As the editor of the World and Nation section of this very newspaper, I have plenty of leeway as to how my pages are produced. The one complaint I have about my job is the strictness of the rules the Statesman has concerning acceptable, unbiased reporting.
My position allows me to simply choose and edit the stories, regardless of how I feel about the issue discussed. But as it turns out, I am wise beyond my 19 years. I have been blessed with the ability to form and share a strong opinion on almost anything, with little to no background information provided to me on the situation. Some call this quick to judge; I call it a gift. A gift that I feel the need to share with the good students of USU.
Oddly, adding my own bias into the news stories in my section is frowned upon, so I have been forced to find another outlet for my opinions on other people’s problems. I have channeled this ability into some truly profound advice to be applied in solving almost any of life’s dilemmas.
Keep in mind that the advice and answers I will be providing are for recreational use only. I am not a trained professional, though you may question that after further reading. My opinions should not be used as a substitute for professional assistance or counseling.
Love, life, fashion, current events – if you’ve got a question and a clever anonymous name, I’ve got an answer. For example, my friend, whom I’ll refer to as “Restless and Rejected in Rexburg” (R.R.R.), recently solicited some input from me regarding one all-too-common dating scenario:
After taking a girl out on a number of dates, R.R.R. became very interested and vigorously pursued the potential relationship with frequent date invitations. From his perspective, the girl seemed to enjoy their interaction, though she never initiated any communication or expressed any affection. R.R.R. continued to incessantly contact her by phone and e-mail to ask her on dates. Eventually, the girl began to refuse, claiming she was too busy with schoolwork, and even stopped returning his calls. Surprised at this, R.R.R. asked me what he could have done differently and what he should do now.
Sadly, this complicated problem has blaringly obvious answers. It is apparent that this girl is just one more victim of the brutally overwhelming life of a college student. Clearly, she has bombarded herself with such a demanding school schedule that she can’t even spare a couple of hours on the weekend to go bowling.
On the other hand, one of this scenario’s inherent problems is the complete lack of persistence demonstrated by R.R.R. If he was so interested in this girl, why did he accept such a weak excuse from her? Everyone knows that school work, when done together by candlelight, can be one of the best ways to get to know a person intellectually and emotionally.
Blatant lack of persistence showed up again when R.R.R. failed to make the expected obscene number of attempts to reach her and schedule another date. With today’s technology, there is no reason to be unable to contact someone for any extended amount of time. It is clear that she was unable to answer the phone because of a severe lack of time and also that her roommates are unreliable message takers. Other likely explanations are: faulty cell phone service, not yet activated voice mail, monthly minutes used up and intimidation that stems from her uncontrollable attraction to R.R.R.
What pains me the most about this situation is that the relationship could have been so easily salvaged with my help…if I had only been contacted in time. I fear that it may be too late in this case, because, from the girl’s view, R.R.R. obviously appears to have lost interest. Since the persistence in making contact wasn’t present, R.R.R. may very well have left her with feelings of rejection and self-loathing.
Please, don’t wait until it is too late for you too…
Lindsay Kite is a junior majoring in print journalism. Questions and comments for use in future installments can be sent to lindsaykite@cc.usu.edu