COLUMN: Earthquakes CostaRica-style
Since coming to Costa Rica as part of Study Abroad, I have learned some vital educational facts that I do not think I would have learned otherwise.
For example, contrary to popular belief, pedestrians do NOT have the right of way. Secondly, Howler Monkeys are cool … for the first half hour of ear-splitting screams. But maybe the most important, I have learned some physical geography, particularly pertaining to the Ring of Fire.
Some of you out there may be confused by the term Ring of Fire, and just for clarification, it has nothing to do with hobbits and elves (although if it did, would that make me the “Lord of the Ring of Fire”…? I’ll let you think about that). So, for those of you who are geographically impaired, the Ring of Fire is the area surrounding the Pacific Ocean that is lined with volcanoes and moving tectonic plates.
Now, you are probably wondering how someone as stupid as me learned something as technical as that. I will be the first to assure you that it had nothing to do with studying from books. Not only is Costa Rica abounding in volcanoes, but I am also able to confirm this Ring of Fire concept according to my personal encounter with an earthquake we just experienced down here.
I do not doubt that there are some out there who are dismayed that I have had to go through such a dramatic experience … and survive. But let me assure all my faithful fans out there (my mom) that I am alright. However, I think there is a lesson we can learn from my earth-trembling incident, so I will relate to you the particulars.
I was in one of my classes, dutifully doodling in my notebook as my professor was lecturing away to her hearts content. Seconds later I began to feel some shaking and then the murmuring of some of my fellow students. I wasted no time in looking up to see the reaction of the professor. I never got the chance. When I looked up, she was gone, sprinting down the hallway. I am not kidding. One second, she was in mid-sentence and the next we were all looking at a blank wall. If properly motivated, I do not doubt that she would be Costa Rica’s top medal hopeful in the next Olympics. By the time the other students and I could even think of standing up, trampling over each other, and run, screaming for the nearest exit, the earthquake was over.
In hindsight, I am relatively certain that if the earthquake would have continued, my whole class would have been down the stairs of the three story building before I would have determined that I was not experiencing the results of a particularly loud dance on the first floor, playing a “Love Shack” marathon. As I thought this over, I couldn’t help but realize that many of my gringo buddies are probably in danger of the same earthquake ignorance that I suffer.
In my extensive personal experience, I do not remember ever feeling an earthquake in Cache Valley (excluding, of course, the stampede that followed when USU beat BYU in football), but I do know that there is a fault line that runs very close to campus. Bearing this in mind, and also that it has been such a long time since Utah has experienced a large earthquake, then we can very well assume that the next one is going to be “the big one.”
Now, please calm down. There is no need to throw this newspaper in the air and go tearing out of your classroom, flailing your arms and pushing down everyone in your way … yet. You may ask yourself what sort of calming advice someone like me, whose most significant contribution to society have been strategies for bettering yo-yo designs, could possibly hope to give. At the same time, you are probably assuming that someone of my I.Q. should not attempt to tackle such an invincible issue as natural phenomena. If you thought that, then you underestimated my ego.
Since the fault line in Cache Valley runs so close to the university, and the danger of a building falling in on you is your biggest threat, my first suggestion is to not go to class. Ever. Instead, I would suggest finding yourself on any type of open ground, and I can’t think of a better open place to be than on a golf course, where the worst thing an earthquake could do to you is knock your golf ball off the fairway into the rough (in my case, not a danger at all, since I always manage to avoid the fairway completely). Though foolproof, this method could result in an intellectual battle with your professor over what “class participation” really is. So I have an even better alternative.
It is not a secret that there is not a scientist, no matter how smart, who can predict the exact moment when an earthquake will occur. In my experience, however, there is a Costa Rican professor who can. I suggest we pay truck loads of money to convince her to live in Logan and have her placed with all sorts of sensors. The second she starts to high-tail it for Canada, we will be instantly notified and thus have ample time to calmly exit our buildings before the earthquake will strike.
You would think that the benefits of avoiding a major earthquake accident would be enough, but my plan offers even more than that. Not only would it nullify any risk of death during an earthquake, but it will also reduce those pesky and bulky earthquake kits down to the bare essentials: your driver, nine-iron and putter.
Marty Reeder is a senior majoring in History education. Any comments and earthquake kit donations can be sent to martr@cc.usu.edu