COLUMN: Employers — don’t patronize us
I won’t bore you with my list, but since I started my college career in January 2000, I have had more jobs than a cat has lives.
I believe that working a lot of jobs has been good for me because it gives me empathy for a lot of different people.
I no longer lean over a counter and argue with the person at the cash register who won’t let me use three different coupons on one purchase.
I don’t chug drinks and wave my cup in the air toward my busy waitress so she can refill it. I tip well.
I nicely hang up on the pushy telemarketers because I know they have a tight-lipped lady with a bun sitting behind them listening to make sure that they are pushy.
This summer I had four different part-time jobs. I answered phones at each of them. After picking up the phone I would oftentimes pause trying to remember where I was. This made life very confusing. It reminded me of my early years when I was obsessed with football and, once I answered the phone saying “set … hike!”
Various circumstances have led to my high job count, but as I reflect, I am left with just one question: What have we done wrong to deserve the lousy jobs we are forced to take?
Working these garbage jobs also changes your perspective. Instead of thinking, “Is this shirt worth $20?” you think “is this worth three hours of cleaning toilets?” Almost always, the answer is no.
But because we need clothes on our back and food in our stomachs, we are left with no choice.
I think my favorites are the local companies that actually have to recruit employees. If you’re in a college town like Logan and you need to recruit, just admit that working for you will be 30 hours a week of H-E-Double hockey sticks. We’ll find out soon enough anyway.
That way, instead of being patronized with job descriptions like: “Take advantage of this exciting and progressive job opportunity,” you would read, “OK, we know this job is crap, but you live in a college town so you have no choice.”
You wouldn’t have to hear or read another ad saying, “If you have strong interpersonal skills and an outgoing personality, then this once-in-a-lifetime job opportunity is for you.”
Instead, you would read “in this job we’ll sit you down with a headset, and you’ll constantly deal with angry people who don’t pay their phone bills, but you’re in college and you need this job as bad as we need verbal punching bags working here for us.”
It’s like trying to dress a pig up in a nice dress. We know that without a degree, we’re at your mercy, but just be honest with us.
Finally, after working for a majority of the minimum wage jobs in Logan, I think I have found my niche. I am a pizza delivery man, and for once, I don’t wimper and whine aloud to myself all the way to work.
One of my fellow employees was a little overly enthusiastic. He said if the school offered it, he would major in pizza delivery. Okey dokey, let’s not go crazy here.
This brings me to my next point. We’ve already established that 95 percent of the jobs we are forced to take are crap. Once we take a job, college employees seem to fall into one of two categories.
The first group of students are those who, like me, would think long and hard if given the choice between going to work or slitting their wrists and then soaking them in lemon juice.
Group number two are the work Nazis – those who take their jobs far too seriously.
These are the people you see hanging out at work even when they are off the clock.
These are the people who will stand up with resolution and proudly say, “I vow with every fiber of my being that I will never put any more than the prescribed amount of cheese on any burger while working at the Burger Barn (or wherever).”
The occupational path we take in our lives is interesting. We start our lives not working. We think we are going to be professional athletes, actors or something else glamorous.
In phase two, we enter the crap job phase where employers patronize us – that’s now.
In phase three, hopefully we take our college degree somewhere and they give us a great job with a big office.
Finally, we enter the retirement phase. We see the commercials with all of the smiling old people handing out carts at Wal-Mart. After four hours of this, we realize that we’re back to phase two.
Clark Jessop is a senior majoring in broadcast journalism. Comments can be sent to clarkjessop@cc.usu.edu.