COLUMN: ‘Everybody’s going Greek II’
A year ago, I wrote about several new fraternities I was proposing for those who don’t fit into the regular Greek system so that everyone can take part in the benefits the system offers. I wanted to continue my proposition by adding some sororities for the gals of campus.
You see, I have seen first hand what the Greek system has to offer the students on campus, and I am all for it. I love the brother/sisterhood, the service opportunities and of course the social aspect that is also an important part of every college experience.
The response I got last year was very mixed, some thought I was making fun of the Greeks, but it is far from the truth. I was the vice president of my chapter when I wrote the column. Some thought I had made some good points, others just thought I was being silly. The latter were probably correct.
So here we go with the next installment of the Greek system according to Justin:
ABS (Alpha Beta Sigma) The perfect place for sisters devoted to getting in shape to stretch together and build their bodies while developing the bonds of sisterhood. Getting in shape has never been so good.
FORN (Phi Omicron Rho Nu) This is the sister sorority to the brothers of XXX (Chi Chi Chi). True the brothers of XXX want to be film makers, these are their stars. If a film career is on the horizon, then this is the house to join. Throw your inhibitions out the window and go Greek.
MP (Mu Pi) Ride ’em cowgirl. For those gals who love the jing jangle of spurs and tight Wranglers. Don’t get roped into a house that doesn’t understand you, come join those who will let you hang your hat with pride.
CENA (Chi Epsilon Nu Alpha) Tall? Stronger than the average man? Are you a warrior princess in your own right? Well, head over to the Parthenon of sorority houses and join the others who bond together to fight wrong and find right. Tough, dynamic and devoted to each other — these are the warriors of campus.
DITZ (Delta Iota Tau Zeta) Brunetts and red-heads just don’t understand what it is like to have fun. This house is for those who do. If you are not blonde, you need not apply. This is for the sisters who know how to have a good time and those who don’t need peroxide to do it. This is truly the house where fun reigns supreme, and the sponsor of more than one good joke.
RMS (Rho Mu Sigma) “Pre Medical Sisters.” The house for the girls who are looking for a career in the health care industry. (Did you really think I would call this house something else?)
MAD (Mu Alpha Delta) You didn’t send her flowers, you just never called and you forgot her birthday, so now she has joined the house with the tall, chain-link fence. This is the place for all the girls who are part of the feminist movement. And they are just a little ticked about the flowers.
SRAM (Sigma Rho Alpha Mu) Betty Crocker hasn’t got anything on these ladies. Give them a package of Roman and some spam and you will have a three course meal. These are the culinary genius’ of the Greek world. So, if you are ready to join the house with good taste, bring your spatula and cook it up here.
UEAH (Upsilon Epsilon Alpha Eta) “I’m sexy, I’m cool, I dominate this school!” You get the drill. So if the need to cheer is strong in your life, this is the house to move into. Come and be perky with us.
MOM (Mu Omicron Mu) Stay at home moms and future homemakers, this is the place to learn the skills you will need to be the perfect wife and mother. There is story time, nap time and then meal planning. Everything you could ever need. This is the biggest house on campus.
BOUZ (Beta Omicron Upsilon Zeta) He’s cute. Look at his … ummm … well, he’s cute. These are the girls who know what they are looking for. They cruise the malls, the sporting events and even The Hub. If you are seeking an active social life and good times, then come join the search for BOYZ.
HAIR (Eta Alpha Iota Rho) “The Claw” was the first official style for these girls. But now it is less pronounced. These are the beauticians of the future. Clipping, cutting, coloring and styling are a way of life. If it were not for these fine sisters, we would never want to be seen in public, they keep us all looking our best.
Well there you have it. A new generation of Greek houses. If these don’t seem to be the right houses for you, there are always the traditional ones who would love to welcome you. After all, everyone should go Greek, there is always something for everyone.
Justin Berry is working on his second bachelor’s degree in theater performance. Comments can be sent to justinsb26@hotmail.com.