COLUMN: Everyone should just leave Air Jordan alone
You’re hearing it first right here. Clark Jessop, Atari-playing PAC-Man extraordinaire, is making a comeback to the sport he so thoroughly dominated for so many years.
Despite all of the excitement surrounding the comeback attempt, there is a fair bit of skepticism as well.
“He was just such a great talent when he was in his prime, I wouldn’t want to see his legacy tarnished from an unsuccessful attempt to regain his title as the most dominant player in the world,” PAC-Man analyst Jeremy Oldham said.
Friends and family are concerned as well.
“I remember when he was a little boy, his instincts were so good, those ghosts would just chase him and chase him, but Clark still found a way of getting all of the pellets and eluding them. A lot of his talent comes from things that just can’t be taught. He was the Beethoven of PAC-Man, and I just don’t want to see him fail,” Jessop’s mother Cindy Jessop said.
According to a new poll, 51 percent of America is in favor of Jessop’s decision, while 49 percent think he shouldn’t make a second comeback attempt.
Of course his first comeback came after he retired and failed in his attempt to play professional Asteroids. He never made it out of the minor leagues. “People are just scared that he can’t be what he once was. The prime age for a PAC-Man athlete is between the ages of 4 and 17, Clark will have to deal with slowed instincts, loss of vision and other problems that are typical of aging video game players,” video game trainer Levi Gubler said.
I’ll stop on this analogy before I lose any more readers. Can anyone see any parallels between this funny – bordering on stupid – example and what is going on in the basketball world right now? Why should we care any more about Michael Jordan playing basketball than we do about me playing PAC-Man?
Whenever anyone else in this world makes a career decision to make themselves happy, we don’t interfere.
Everyone says they are scared for Michael Jordan for one reason or another. Are they scared for his legacy? Scared for his self-esteem?
ESPN named Michael Jordan as the top athlete of the 20th century. The man has 6 NBA titles, he went to the All-star game every year. I would say his legacy is pretty secure. And even if Jordan averaged two points a game, a guy with his own shoe, a bronze statue of himself and a zillion dollars in the bank will never need counseling for self-esteem issues.
So now that we are assured Michael will be all right, what’s the problem?
I think our problem is we feel like we own part of Jordan’s legacy.
When we are by ourselves shooting hoops and we pretend we are Michael Jordan taking the game-winning shot, we don’t want to picture a 68-year-old man with gray hair and dentures using a cane to move around the court.
But even so, let the man do what he wants to do.
Even if his career ends up being more drawn out than the Beverly Hills 90210 series, it’s none of our business how long he plays.
And even if we believe this latest comeback is a desperate plea for attention, it’s not our legacy on the line, or our business to tell him he can’t do it.
So just mind your own business and stop telling me not to play PAC-Man and Michael Jordan not to play basketball.
Clark Jessop is a
sophomore majoring
in broadcast journalism.
He can be reached at
clarkjessop@cc.usu.edu