COLUMN: Gay students deserve the same respect
As we move into the 2011-12 school year, the new wave of freshmen are experiencing the world of college for the first time. Many of our young friends will use the new freedom of college to come out of the proverbial closet as LGBTQ, which encompasses those who consider themselves lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender or queer. It is somewhat of an umbrella term that can describe many things other than heteronormative orientation, identification and expression.
Although old enough to function independently, these freshmen are still impacted by the things they see and hear by their peers and teachers – especially at an exciting and potentially frightening time.
The things they see and hear regarding others’ treatment of LGBTQ people and issues can resonate powerfully. A simple comment made in thoughtless jest can have a lasting impression. Since everybody wants college to be a fun and freeing experience, whether gay or straight, here are a few general guidelines to watch out for in order to be sensitive to your LGBTQ cohorts.
First and foremost, never – and I mean never – “out” anyone. If I could shout this from the rooftops I would do so immediately. Coming out is a personal and private choice, and can have an incredibly negative impact on someone who is not ready to come out. This means that if someone gives you the privilege of confiding in you their sexual orientation, keep it to yourself. Don’t tell friends or family. Don’t post it on Facebook. Coming out is not a bad thing, but it can quickly become a bad situation if it’s not handled tactfully.
Don’t use the term “lifestyle” when discussing homosexuality. Buddhism and vegetarianism is a lifestyle. One’s lifestyle consists of the daily things you do; for example, dressing modestly is one aspect of an LDS lifestyle; abstaining from eating pork is part of a Muslim lifestyle; and paying money to measure thetans is an aspect of living a Scientologist lifestyle. Nothing about sexual orientation determines what you wear, what you eat, or how you manage your personal finances or past lives.
Stop saying, “That’s so gay.” First of all, if you are using this phrase as a college student, you should be ashamed by your lack of intelligent articulation. What exactly does “That’s so gay” mean? Generally, it is used as a negative connotation such as, “This assignment is so gay,” or “The color of the linoleum in my new apartment is so gay.” Are you trying to state that your assignment is attracted to other assignments? Or that your linoleum is particularly magnetic towards other plastic flooring? Of course not. Like the creative and intelligent person you are, rather than using an offensive and meaningless term. This includes using other derogatory words such as “faggot.” Any slang used to mock sexual orientation, expression, or identification is inappropriate at all times.
Do become familiar with how your LGBTQ friends like to be addressed. When a transgender individual takes a new name, it is essential to respect that; call them by their new name and make an extra effort to remember the pronouns they prefer to be associated with. It may not seem like a big deal to you, but it is very important to them. Keep an open mind and allow others the freedom of expression without your judgment. I promise that they already encounter it frequently enough and don’t need any more.
Lastly, don’t ask inappropriate questions. Remember that when it comes right down to it, it’s really none of your business what other people do in their homes behind closed doors. If it comes up in conversation and they are willing to share, that’s one thing, but prying is unacceptable.
These simple guidelines are really easy to follow and involve your basic daily values: kindness, respect, maturity and acceptance of those who are different from you. Just a little extra effort on your part can make a big difference in the life of a new LGBTQ student at USU. And if you’re ever in doubt about what to do in any given situation, remember the Golden Rule.
Liz Emery is a senior majoring in English. Comments can be sent to her at liz.emery@yahoo.com.