COLUMN: Get Rid of the Secret Service and let’s see what gun laws Congress comes up with
In this season of awakening, rebirth and warmer days I can’t help but reflect on the pointless use of those cold steel objects we call guns.
With the ever-increasing open season on students and teachers, which mentally unbalanced teens are creating and taking part in, the need to gain a better control on who has the guns is becoming a great and greater need. And to all you NRAites that hypnotically repeat the phrase, “Guns don’t kill people, people do,” well guess what? I have a sneaky suspicion that guns play a very active roll in gun-caused deaths. If you take away the gun in these situations, the people would not be dead, now would they?
The biggest problem is that once a gun ban or gun control is brought, up the armed-to-the-teeth, gun-carrying radicals start yelling, “Second Amendment! Right to Bear Arms!” while popping off Uzi rounds into the air as a friendly act of a peaceful demonstration for the need of guns.
Well, let’s talk about that Second Amendment, the right to bear arms. If you pay attention to the Second Amendment you will realize it was for the purpose of a regulated militia, which was necessary to the security of a free state at the time. If you look back at the era during which this amendment was written it makes complete sense. England was getting greedy and taking countries like India away from the Indians without asking. So we, being the radicals that we were, took America away from England without asking. We knew how frumpy England was at the time, and were pretty sure a horde of red coats would be stomping into town any minute to try to get back what we rightfully stole. It was because of this we needed to protect ourselves.
A key thing to remember is that the Second Amendment is no longer necessary. We no longer need regulated militias because they are no longer necessary to the security of a free state. And who cares if the founding fathers of this country said we had the right to bear arms? If I’m not mistaken, some of those men also said we had the right to purchase and own other human beings. We have been able to see the error of one of those initial rights and corrected such a forlorn act, now we need to do the same with the right of bearing arms.
Am I saying we need to get rid of all guns? Of course not. And why not? Because there are furry, four-legged creatures out in the wooded areas of this nation that are begging for a quick and bullet-ridden ending to an unfulfilled life of eating vegetation and frolicking naked. OK, so I’m being a little cynical, and I’m sure you all remember my marvelous column on hunting, which, consequently, I cut out, stuffed, mounted and hung on my wall over the fireplace.
I think I’ve come up with a solution on how to finally get Congress to do something about its inability to pass any action-setting gun control laws. All we have to do is remove all the security checkpoints in all the government buildings in D.C. and take away all the government Secret Service agents who are there to protect the members of Congress. My guess is that in less than a week we would not only have the removal of the Second Amendment, but gun laws more strict than Yoda’s Jedi training for Luke on Dagobah.
We are a growing, expanding and evolving nation. Guns seem to promote a false sense of power, and for some an overabundance of paranoia and lack of self-control.
To me, guns seem to be one of the biggest tools used by people in this nation to take away the rights of other people. It’s an issue that needs to be resolved and removed. Then finally all of us will have a little more freedom.
The Way I See it appears in the Statesman every Friday. Rich Timothy is a senior majoring in technical writing. Comments may be e-mailed to rtimothy1@hotmail.com