Column: Give the gift of Pilk this Christmas — or don’t
Pilk — A genius marketing strategy but one that leaves a horrible taste, figuratively and literally, in my mouth.
Confused? Let’s start from the beginning. Pilk is a combination of Pepsi and milk. The idea was born from Pepsi’s new marketing campaign they launched through a Christmas commercial this holiday season with the beloved celebrity and “Parent Trap” star, Lindsay Lohan.
The commercial starts off in a home with Santa Claus sitting in front of a plate of cookies and a glass of milk — you know, like he’s supposed to be. Untraditionally, however, as Lohan tiptoes toward the living room where Old Saint Nick is, he then opens a can of Pepsi and pours it into the glass of milk.
As the commercial continues, you see Lohan make it to the living room and find the Pilk, with no Santa to be found. She tries the new drink and says, “That is one dirty soda, Santa,” with a smile on her face — a fake one, I’d confidently assume.
The commercial ends with a picture of Pilk that looks way more appealing than it tastes and the words “Pilk and cookies” on the screen.
Now as negative as I have been so far, I have to admit the marketing is nothing short of brilliant. Pepsi has done it all: the timing is perfect with the Christmas element, they bring in an A-list celebrity and they present a whole new idea that appears somewhat as a challenge.
“I think they picked the right celebrity too, because it’s like nostalgia for Millenials,” said Jake Ellis, the Statesman sports editor who introduced me to the commercial and has tried Pilk himself. “It’s just odd enough that you’ll get people reacting to it out of shock, which was my initial reaction.”
Though I may not be an expert in many things, I do consider myself a soda genius, wizard, professional, specialist, even goddess. Not only do I currently work for a local soda shop, I’ve also been an avid Pepsi lover my entire 21 years of life.
Why am I telling you this? Because I literally mix soda drinks for a living (maybe just for extra cash, but still,) and I know what tastes like heaven and what tastes worse than dirt — Pilk is the latter.
And I’m not just saying all this on the assumption of what it would taste like — I’ve tried it myself. And if you couldn’t tell by now, I wasn’t a fan, and I knew I wouldn’t be.
After having a discussion on the commercial, the Statesman’s managing editor Darcy Ritchie came up with the idea of taste-testing Pilk with our entire editorial staff at our Christmas newspaper production night.
“I thought maybe it would have sort of a root beer float moment, but it just wasn’t the same,” Ritchie said. “I think the milk really canceled out everything that’s good about Pepsi.”
My thoughts exactly. I could taste both the Pepsi and the milk separately, rather than having them blend to make a good mix and a new flavor. Really, the milk just took out all of the Pepsi’s carbonation.
Ritchie and I weren’t the only ones left unsatisfied.
“At first I was like ‘OK, that’s good,’” said Audrey Flood, the Aggie Radio station manager. “But then I drank the whole cup, and I was like ‘That was just bad. My stomach hurts really bad.’”
As bad as I’m making Pilk sound, and as bad as it is, I would bet money that Pepsi purchases will increase just solely based on people’s curiosity — mine being no exception.
“I literally bought Pepsi just to make Pilk,” Ritchie said. “It worked on me. I fell for it; I did it.”
Even news anchors on the FOX21 morning team in Colorado tried the beverage on air.
Anchor Craig Coffley said, “I taste Pepsi up front, and then I get the milk.”
Another FOX21 meteorologist Valerie Mills said, “I like milk and I like Pepsi, not together. But I’ve definitely had worse.”
As much coverage as it’s gotten, I don’t agree with all of the branding. Calling it “dirty soda” isn’t my favorite because it’s not even a new idea — it’s changing one that already exists.
When people come through at my job and order a “dirty Coke” or “dirty Pepsi” that means they want it with lime — I sure hope they don’t mean with milk now.
Pilk is worth a shot, though. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not switching up on you now and recommending you drink it on a regular basis, but I do get why it could be a fun group activity to try it once and see for yourself.
“My favorite part of pop culture is where people do things out of their comfort zone and create a shared experience like trying this,” Ellis said.
So, would I drink it again? No. Am I a little sad that Pepsi’s reputation could be tainted, and I’ll get made fun of more often by my coworkers for loving the brand because of this commercial? Yes.
And as much as I think I’m right about Pilk, everyone has their own opinion, and because Utah State University is a Pepsi school, you have an easy way to obtain the means to try Pilk for yourself.
What are you waiting for? Just know, your taste buds have been warned.
You can find the commercial here.
-Jacee.Caldwell@usu.edu
Featured photo by Bailey Rigby