COLUMN: How to throw the perfect barbeque
It is “literally” possible to throw the perfect barbecue by yourself, although it’s a lot more fun and 10 times easier with friends. To prepare for this event you’ll need plenty of open space, lots of meat and of course the barbeque.
Strategically position yourself so the barbecue will have plenty of landing space and spectators will be out of harm’s way.
Get a firm grip on the barbecue, rotate your arm back approximately 180 degrees and release. If thrown by yourself, you will probably achieve a distance of 1 maybe 2 feet. If you gain the assistance of friends, you are guaranteed a distance of at least 5 feet. You have now “literally” thrown the perfect barbecue, assuming of course no one was injured in the process.
Throwing the perfect barbecue is even more entertaining, colorful and perfect if the meat is smothered in barbecue sauce and the flames are completely extinguished.
Flying, flaming meat is not recommended. It only causes problems and ruins your chance of a perfect barbecue.
A checkered picnic tablecloth works wonderfully as a target. It is bright and easy to see; therefore your chances of hitting the target are increased. Once the meat has been thrown, it is time to give the potato salad a whirl. Potato salad works best if thrown using a spoon instead of your hands; that way it is lumped together and will get better distance.
If you’ve finished both the meat and potato salad and are still dying for more target practice, there’s always the watermelon. Watermelon is great because it can be cut up into tiny pieces and can be thrown consecutively.
OK, seriously, throwing the perfect barbecue is easy. It doesn’t take much planning, just delegation and a bit of fun. To throw the perfect barbecue remember these three words: assign, assign, assign.
Happy eating and watch for flying barbecues.
Recipe
Old Fashioned Potato Salad
Ingredients:
3 medium boiling potatoes (about 1 pound)
2 eggs
1 medium stalk celery
1 medium onion
3/4 cup mayonnaise or salad dressing
1 teaspoon mustard
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon pepper
1 1/2 teaspoon white vinegar
1. Peel the potatoes and cut any large potatoes in half.
Add an inch of water to the large saucepan. Cover and heat the water to boiling over high heat. Add potatoes. Cover and heat to boiling again. Once water is boiling, reduce heat just enough so water bubbles gently.
Cook covered 20 to 25 minutes or until potatoes are tender when pierced with a fork. Drain potatoes in a strainer and cool slightly. Cut potatoes into cubes.
2. While the potatoes are cooking, place the eggs in the medium saucepan. Cover with at least 1 inch of cold water and heat on high until water boils over. Remove the saucepan from the heat. Let stand covered 18 minutes. Immediately pour the hot water off eggs and run them under cold water for several seconds to prevent further cooking; drain.
3. Peel and chop the eggs. Chop the celery. Peel the onion, and chop enough of the onion to measure 1/4 cup.
4. Mix the mayonnaise, vinegar, mustard, salt and pepper in a large bowl. Gently stir in the potatoes, celery and onion. Stir in the chopped eggs.
5. Cover and refrigerate at least four hours to blend flavors.
Holly Hanson is a junior majoring in journalism. Comments can be e-mailed to hollhans@cc.usu.edu