COLUMN: If Iraq can do it, ASUSU can too
The election process has been around for a long time. Evidence of it goes back to the first cavemen trying to elect a head caveman. Unfortunately, since nobody could read the ballots or otherwise decipher the marks on the rocks they passed around, this first attempt at democracy failed.
Later on in history the Greeks became a bit more successful with their elections, though inevitably every candidate was relentlessly harped on by the press for wearing a dress (“It’s not a dress, it’s a toga!” would be the angry response).
Then, once the Roman Empire fell, the only elections going on in the Dark Ages were insignificant title-granting elections, such as people voting on the titles of, “Most Feared Feudal Lord,” “Peasant Most Likely to Get the Black Plague Within a Week” and “Monk With the Coolest Hairdo.”
Then, ever since the arrival of modern day American democracy, elections have been evolving and spreading all over the world. Just last month Iraq had its own successful elections. So where is this incredible juggernaut of elections and democracy headed? I think that I am not too far off in saying that the zenith of thousands of years of election evolution will be reached at the end of March with this year’s ASUSU elections.
Because of the inevitable landmark potential of the upcoming ASUSU elections, it is important that they go by without a hitch. The Iraqis demonstrated the incredible power of elections and democracy by turning out to vote in such high percentages, even against the threat of death and terror. While I don’t think that the ASUSU elections will harbor similar life-endangering threats, there are a few things that would dissuade a student from voting in this monumental show of student-driven democracy.
The way I foresee it, the three main obstacles for a successful outcome of the upcoming ASUSU elections would be the following:
1) Election overdose.
These would be the students whose dorms are stormed by every candidate possible at least 40 times each day. Within this same group are the students who can’t stand cheesy slogans and displays littered all along their paths to class, not to mention the students who have been hospitalized by the paper cuts administered by the flyers on campus. Because of this overdose of candidate advertisement, the students quickly become disenchanted by the whole election procedure.
2) Election Process Intimidation.
These are the students that are technologically challenged, unable to comprehend the difference between a palm pilot and a palm tree, let alone cast their vote on-line.
3) Voter Apathy.
Difficult to believe or not, there will actually be students out there who feel that the ASUSU does nothing for them. Most of these students are the ones that have been at school for several years and thus have become bitter after spending an awful lot of money on tuition.
For the first two obstacles I propose one all-encompassing solution. As with most major international and groundbreaking elections, I see no reason why we shouldn’t utilize the United Nations program that sends delegates to ensure that the election process is done thoroughly and fairly. Of course the ASUSU elections would require that these U.N. agents have some extra duties, such as have patrols protecting the dorms from potential dorm stormers and regulate excessive flyer and display usage. For those students who struggle with on-line voting on computers there could be special helper U.N. agents that will step them through the process.
As for voter apathy, that is just as easily remedied. If you feel that the elections will have no effect on you, then I would encourage you to run for office yourself. Not only would the elections then have an immediate effect on you, but if you won, the tuition waiver would rid you of your tuition born cynicism (if you’re interested the deadline for applying is March 9, so you’d better run).
Now if you’ll excuse me, my U.N. agent is tired of helping me type this into this weird TV screen that stores information somehow, so I’ve got to go.
Marty Reeder is a senior majoring in history education. Comments or votes for “Most Likely to Be Voting Illiterate” can be sent to martr@cc.usu.edu.