COLUMN: It’s not that I’m bad, she is just a better tennis player
You’re playing basketball, soccer or whatever with the guys, getting sweaty and speaking man-grunt, when some females walk in and your friend says, “Oh yeah, I invited them.”
I think most men know what I’m talking about.
You quickly turn down the competitive button, start the smooth talk and before you know it, you’re actually giggling your way through what was once a high-stakes blood battle to the death.
Or how about when you turn on the TV? I still want to meet those die-hard WNBA Utah Starzz fans who actually kept the team in business for six years. And if you tell me you love women’s gymnastics or Maria Sharapova and claim it’s all about athletic competition, I know you’re lying.
It just doesn’t happen.
So we arranged a doubles match against our top women’s tennis players – senior Jaci West and last year’s freshman sensation McKenzie Davis against Jordan Ballam and myself.
“We’ll beat you easily,” said Davis. West’s eyes flared and I began to feel like prey surrounded by two lionesses. And here I was thinking we’d being be playing for fun.
Even with all the beliefs about women’s sports, I had a hard time not casting us in the role of Rocky for the match. When I texted my dad about the setup, he texted back, “Mix the teams up. Do not play boys vs. girls.”
Whoops. Suddenly my confidence wasn’t so high.
I’m not bad at tennis. Back in the day, I won two individual state titles at 1st doubles and two with my team. If it were singles, I knew either one could take me – but doubles is more my thing.
In one corner: A pair of 2012 second team all-WAC females – and this year’s projected top two for the Aggies.
In the other corner: Two recently returned LDS missionaries who picked up rackets a few times in the last few years and hoped the power of Ballam’s mustache would be enough. We practiced a solid 30 minutes before the match – Allen Iverson would’ve been proud.
After winning one point the first two games, good thing there’s excuse No. 459 – a bee stung me as we walked on the court. When Ballam finally aced them to start our third game, they only rolled their eyes, minimizing the effects of our normal celebratory ace dance.
I don’t think I saw Davis smile until her victims were withering, and our first compliment came by West after the second-to-last game.
“I was very excited about this because I know first hand what it’s like to always be second to men’s sports,” said West.
I got beat by a girl. Read it, tweet it, put it where all Facebook stalkers can see (who knows how many dates I’ll get after this article anyway.) These girls – and all of our Aggie women – can play, and deserve our support.
“I will say this with confidence,” West said. “Both men and women teams work long, hard hours to make the students at Utah State proud. Whether fans come out and support them or not, they will keep striving for greatness to make Utah State proud. I am honored to play for Utah State and proud to be an Aggie and wouldn’t change it for the world.”
– Mark Hopkins is a lifelong Aggie fan who loves playing all sports, against men or women. When there’s time away from his teams, he’s also majoring in business administration. Send any comments to m.hop@aggiemail.usu.edu.