COLUMN: Lack of sleep, what’s that?
Dry, itchy, burning, red, irritated, swollen, over-sensitive and stinging.
These are the side effects to a common and often overlooked ailment with college students. I am just like them, and I too have suffered from it.
Sleep•n. naturally recurring condition of suspended consciousness, with eyes closed and muscles relaxed.
Deprivation•n. strip, dispossessed; debar from enjoying, inadequate.
Who among us doesn’t suffer from this at some point in their college career? It is more common than I think we realize, but then I would never know it because I fail to even know where I am most of the time.
Let me illustrate this point. Last week, I was in the Chase Fine Arts Center to rehearse a scene for my acting class and I had parked my car in the parking lot adjacent to the building. Following an intense rehearsal and a rousing game of gin, I went to the parking lot adjoining the church next door.
My car was not there.
I went to the B parking lot across the road.
My car was also absent from this collection of stalls.
I was confused.
Very confused.
I wandered back into the building wondering where I had left my car. It was then I had the stroke of brilliance so blinding I had to check my retinas before I continued my journey. I had parked right next to the museum. I transversed the halls leading to the exit and moved out to the parking lot of choice and there she was. Roxie was waiting for me. And yes, Roxie is the name of my car. Don’t ask.
I can not tell you the number of times I have sat in the classroom staring blankly at the front of the room like a drone mindlessly taking notes, notes I will never understand nor be able to read. Notes that will be good for nothing more than lining the bottom of my roommate’s hamster cage.
Sigh.
So why is it, we as students, are rest needy? Why do we long for the unattainable? Why is it the demonic faculty of this fine university make it so hard to find the nap time we all crave? Why are their so many questions that are left unanswered? Where is Mulder and Scully when I need them?
I have often reflected on my childhood days and longed to return to kindergarten. Nap time. What more do I need to say.
I have come to the conclusion that my eyes will never return to their normal state when I am done with school.
Never mind, I worked for two years before returning to school and I suffered even then. I think it was the need to have a social life that drove me to this incurable state even then.
Not that I have a social life now, but that is because I tend to over-extend myself and sign up for everything I can find. I am currently working at the paper, in the theater department, for my fraternity, as a volunteer for the high school, as a publicist, son and student. I hope I didn’t miss anyone. (I feel sort of like an Oscar speech and I really wouldn’t want to leave anyone out.)
Basically, I have decided I will sleep someday. Not now, but someday. When I am dead. What bliss.
Justin Berry is a features editor for the Utah Statesman. Comments can be sent to justinsb26@yahoo.com