COLUMN: My bobble-head doll could beat up your beanie baby
Something strange happened in Philadelphia Friday night.
The Los Angeles Clippers played in front of a sellout crowd – their first on the road this season.
No, it’s not that the Clippers are all that much better this year than they have been in previous seasons. That’s not why the crowd came at all. Nor was it the 76ers’ league-best 40 wins that lured the 20,592 fans to the game, either.
The fans came for one thing: Bobble-head dolls.
Allen Iverson bobble-head dolls, to be precise.
The 76ers gave away 5,000 bobble-head dolls to kids under 14, one of which ESPN.com reported was auctioned on the Internet less than an hour after the game started.
“The calls have been coming fast and furious from all over the country and the Internet,” 76ers Senior Vice President Dave Coskey told ESPN.com. “People were even renting kids, offering free tickets if you brought a kid with you and gave up the bobble-head.”
Is this for real?
One fan was escorted from the arena after threatening a Sixers employee, and another fan refused to accept his doll after discovering it was missing an earring.
It’s hard to believe that people actually worry about stuff like this. It’s hard to imagine some people getting upset because they didn’t get a bobble-head doll – or worse yet, the one they got was missing an earring.
These people have to have something better to do. This can’t be the most important thing in their lives.
I mean, getting violent over bobble-head dolls just isn’t right – especially in the city of brotherly love.
Philadelphia seems too great for this kind of behavior. After all, this is the city that gave us the Constitution, not to mention athletes like Dr. J, Mike Schmidt and Rocky Balboa. It is a city rich in history.
Yet throw out the Constitution (which, by the way, I’m not suggesting we do), and how much different is Philadelphia than New York? Not a whole helluva lot. So should we really expect Sixer and Phillies fans to act any differently than Knicks and Yankees fans.
It’s Yankees and Knicks fans who have the reputation for behaving the worst. Yet it’s New Yorkers who calmly say “Fagetaboudit!” while Philly fans tell one another to “reach for the sky and hand over the bobble-head doll.”
This fan behavior extends further than bobble-head dolls, however. Coskey said the team has experienced similar problems with other mania give-aways, including comic books and puzzles.
The whole thing is puzzling to me.
Why the uproar over something so silly? Why does the 76ers’ management continue with such promotions? How many times does the anvil have to hit the promotions people over the head before they begin to think, “maybe this isn’t the brightest thing we’ve ever done?”
Bobble-head dolls, beanie babies and all that other promotional garbage should be left in the toy stores. True fans don’t need to be coaxed to come out to the games, and they’re not going to be interested in some bouncing-head doll when they get there.
Helmet night is nice. Basketball card night is harmless. But sporting events are no place for dolls.
Did the Romans give out little rag dolls at the Gladiator events? I think not. Romans came to see blood, and they didn’t leave until someone shed some.
If these teams really want to put people in the stands, they’ll put away the dolls, comic books and puzzles, save the money and reduce ticket prices. They’ll quit charging $4.50 for a Coke, $4 for an ice cream and $3.75 for a tub of popcorn.
Maybe then people will come and discover just how talented professional athletes are.
Of course, they might have to avoid scheduling the Clippers as much as possible.
Casey Hobson is a senior majoring in journalism. His column appears every other Wednesday.