Column: Not Quite Nietzsche; Now that spring has broken, it’s time to deal with the mud
I tried to go to class on Monday. I really did.
With Spring Break over, I had resolved to faithfully attend all of my classes until the semester’s end. But my professors had a different idea.
After my first class was canceled and my second and third classes ended early, my resolve was broken. Any other day, a professor’s mercy would have been a welcome idea, but the first day back from Spring Break, I craved discipline.
After three class periods of laxity, I couldn’t stay on campus.
My decision to skip the last half of my day could have had something to do with my complete inability to find a bathroom on campus – it seems like they’re everywhere until I need one – but for principle’s sake, I’d like to say it was influenced only by a really terrible day of classes.
Spring, for all of its promises of green foliage and warm weather, is the most dangerous time of year.
For starters, it’s commonly believed that love is in the air. This is true, but what they aren’t telling you is that only ugly love is in the air.
All of the good-looking people hooked up in the fall, and now it’s time for the rest of us to get over our crushes on the hotties and agree to settle for each other.
It’s not pretty, but it’s true. Being an ugly person myself, I can’t say I’m too excited about the phenomenon.
It happens every spring, but frequency doesn’t make my people’s terrible displays of public affection any easier to stomach. I apologize to all of the pretty people out there, and just want to say that I’m as frightened by the idea of my hooking up with someone who looks like me as you are.
Then there is the melting snow and slush. I don’t know how many of you were on campus earlier this week, but the trees were treacherous.
There’s really no way to keep melting snow from falling onto you, but I found we all have our own methods to lessen the risk.
Most folks step softly, afraid that too much movement below will shake the snow loose.
Others keep their heads down in the hope that the snow, like a teacher, will only choose you if you make eye contact.
I don’t know how well either of these worked, but I took a slush-ball in the arm and counted myself lucky -others weren’t as fortunate.
The danger of melting snow is made worse as we all know it snows more in March than it does the whole of winter.
This is Mother Nature’s cruelest trick, and I’m still afraid of falling into a bad case of hypothermia one of these days.
How does the human body adjust from a sunny spring Tuesday to a frigid, wintry Wednesday?
The weather changes faster than my falling GPA this time of year, and while I don’t know much about the human body and its reaction to severe weather changes, I do know that my body doesn’t like it.
I have a hard enough time dressing myself in the morning without the weather yo-yo-ing back and forth every other day.
But spring could be worse, I suppose. It could, after all, be winter. And while I’d love to think on that for a while, I’ve got to go find a reason to skip class.
Zach Pendleton is a junior in English. Comments, questions and slushballs can be sent to
zpendleton@cc.usu.edu.