COLUMN: Now there is an I in Wii
I can distinctly remember the day I was picked last for kickball in elementary school.
This was a tragic day. I felt an awful sinking feeling in my gut as I watched every guy around me get picked, leaving me standing there all alone. It was even more depressing when girls were picked over me. Finally, out of lack of options, I was assigned to a team.
I remember feeling dejected, and I made a vow to myself that I would work hard and play hard so one day I would be better than everyone else.
Sadly, that dream was never actualized. I never played on a sports team in junior high or high school. I was eventually forced to give up on my dream of being good at sports.
Then Christmas break came along.
This Christmas break brought more than joy and good will to my life. It brought renewed hope in my quest for becoming a champion athlete. I didn’t have to leave the comfort of the living room, and within a few hours I was transformed into a world-class athlete.
This was all made possible through the Nintendo Wii. This new game system, recently released by Nintendo, introduces a revolutionary way to play video games. The traditional controller method is still used, but the Wii also involves physical motion by the player to make things happen.
Standard with every Wii system is a package of Wii sports. This package includes such events as tennis, baseball, boxing, golf and bowling. The Wii allowed me to create a character that looked exactly like me, except that it let me put some of my hair back. I wish it was that easy in real life.
With my newly created digital Seth, I was ready to take on my brother-in-law, Jeff, in tennis. I’ll admit I felt a little weird holding a plastic stick that was strapped to my arm. I felt even stranger as I started to bounce around in anticipation for the ball.
Jeff served a blistering serve and I looked like an idiot as I swung my actual arm and my digital player fell on his face, giving Jeff a point. I couldn’t believe it! Not only was I bad at sports in real life, I was equally bad at digital sports.
I picked my little digital self back up and got ready for another serve. This time I was ready for him and I rocketed the ball back at him, making his digital self scramble and miss. After repeated volleys, I finally defeated Jeff. I was pretty proud of myself until we had a rematch and he creamed me. I could feel my digital self crying.
The next event in our sporting series was boxing. Since the Wii controller picks up the speed of the user, I was pretty sure I could knock Jeff’s character senseless. I was feeling confident as digital Seth put on a pair of boxing shorts and gloves and took the ring with digital Jeff.
My prediction was right. As I threw the first punch, I landed a direct hit on Jeff’s face that sent his character flying back. It was after that things started to go sour. He proceeded to pummel my character to the point where if it wasn’t a Nintendo game, there would have been blood all over the mat and a couple of my limbs strewn throughout the crowd.
I struggled to get back up and fight back but for some reason I couldn’t move the controller in the right direction to hit him. Frustrated at having lost to a junior high student, I decided to take a break from him and take on my wife. Jeff is a Nintendo guru, but I was pretty sure I could take on my wife.
The only sport that looked remotely interesting to her was bowling. Wii bowling is probably the most fun game of all the sports. You use the controller as you would a bowling ball.
On my first roll I nailed a strike. I proceeded to do a victory dance until my wife stabbed me in the side with her hand and told me to watch how a professional did things. I have to admit, she did a good job and landed a spare. I was worried that maybe this match was not going to be as easy as I’d originally thought.
We took turns hitting strikes and getting spares. Wii bowling is just about as easy as bowling with bumper pads – my favorite way. It was neck and neck until the end, but I pulled ahead in the last frame to narrowly beat her. I was finally champion of a sport! I never thought it would be bowling, but I’ll take whatever I can get.
I later discovered she threw the game to make me feel good about myself. Being the good wife she is, she felt it her duty to help me fulfill a lifelong dream. Rigged or not, I’ll take the title.
Overall, Nintendo Wii is a fantastic athletic workout. In some of the games like boxing or tennis, you can really get into it. Just crank up the heat in your living room, put on a sweatshirt and get into it. You’ll start sweating and – I’m sure – burn at least a few calories. And even if you don’t, there’s finally a way to play outside from the comfort of your own armchair.
Seth Hawkins is a junior majoring in public relations. You can email him on his brother-in-law’s Wii at sethhawkins@cc.usu.edu