COLUMN: Ode to Utah hair revisited
Dear Lindsay, A few months ago, you wrote about being chewed out for criticizing a common Utah hair style. I was wondering what that style is so I can avoid it next time I get my hair done.Sincerely, Not So Hair AwareDear Not So Hair Aware, I know this concern is a common one, so I commend you for being brave enough to step forward and find out how you can protect yourself. After all, knowing is beautiful and not knowing can be, well, not so beautiful. Especially when ignorance can lead to having hair ratted to death-defying heights. Even worse, having only portions of your hair reach those heights while the surrounding hair remains unpoofed. This is one tell-tale sign of what I like to call “Utah hair.” I’m glad you caught my reference to this strange phenomenon in a recent column, since I believe it is an important issue that deserves to be discussed. Last year, I made an attempt to increase awareness on this ignored topic and was bombarded with a variety of emotional responses from readers. As a freshman who was new to Utah and surprisingly shocked by the Utah haired population, I found quite a few people who shared this observation. And since the column was an “ode” to Utah hair, I was amazed at the number of expletives I received in my inbox. I realize now that the people who actually took the time to send a poor freshman all that hate mail were definitely rockin’ some Utah hair at the time. Oddly, most of the more hateful, threatening e-mails were from males, so I came to the conclusion that their girlfriends, moms, wives or sisters were most likely also rockin’ it at the time the columnb was printed. I stand by my ideas on the reality of this Utah-riffic hair style, though it seems that the prime examples are much less prevalent this year than last year. Perhaps I have just become immune to the awe-inspiring shapes and vertical heights some girls create with their hair, but I am sad to say I see fewer of them all the time. I think back fondly on the days when I was able to sit in classes and look with admiration at all the girls who spent their mornings meticulously spraying and ratting. But finding dependable Utah girls is getting harder every day. There are still a few I can count on to never fail in making their hair measurable in inches from scalp out to any given point on the protruding hair. In the most extreme cases, air holes and space exist within the mass of hair that has resulted from careless, sporadic ratting. When you can see light or objects through the hair that surrounds the head, you can be sure Utah hair has occurred. Also, if, when you look in the mirror, your hair is square or overly cone-shaped from any angle, watch out. Now that I have provided you with some defining characteristics, you can decide for yourself whether or not to recreate this style on your own. In case you do decide this would be a good look for you, let your hairstylist know you’ll be needing a couple extra inches of length longer than what the finished ‘do should look like. This will give you plenty of leeway to ensure your perfect length even with a few inches of manually created volume. Mandatory tools in creating this look from home are a can of aerosol hairspray, a fine-toothed comb and additional aerosol hairspray. A multi-angled mirror is unnecessary because ratted, poofy chunks throughout the back of the hair are common and welcomed in an authentic recreation. If you decide to leave this style to more seasoned professionals, simply refrain from any reckless poofing or spraying and you’ll be all set. Lindsay Kite is a junior majoring in print journalism. Still too embarrassed to ask your friends for advice on that one problem? Contact lindsaykite@cc.usu.edu.