COLUMN: Political recap
That sound you have been hearing for the last 10 days is not the wind in the trees or the telemarketer early-warning system, but rather it is the whining of 100 million Democrats wondering what went wrong. Even though dozens of people turned out for the mid-term vote, the Democrats lost ground in the House and the Senate.
I’d like to say they fought the good fight, but the only good thing I can say about the Democratic Party and its recent performance is that it fulfills an ancient prophesy.
According to Revelation 3:15-16 “I know thy works, that thou art neither cold nor hot: I would thou wert cold or hot. So then because thou art lukewarm and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth.”
All religiosity aside, I feel the same way about the Democratic Party as Canadians must feel about professional ice hockey in places like Miami. There is just something wrong. Just like ice hockey used to be associated with places where ice naturally occurred, Democrats used to be associated with liberal ideas. Now, they are afraid to stand up for such radical ideas such as peace and the United Nations. The Democratic Party is Wonder Bread, vanilla, cheese pizza, the last three Mariah Carey albums – you get the idea. It has lost its way; the only thing it stands for is not being Republican, and that isn’t enough anymore.
And really, other than one has a president in office, can anyone give a quick description of how the parties differ? Quick – which is the elephant, and which is the donkey? Who got more of the popular vote in the last presidential election?
Well, that is another issue, but contrary to conventional wisdom, competition makes people more cautious rather than making them take more risks. No matter which ways the vote goes, you end up with a politician in office. The higher the stakes, the less likely people are to try to be different. It is the same reason there are so many sequels in Hollywood, half the population drives SUVs and everything tastes like chicken.
There isn’t much incentive to be different. If you try voting Green, Libertarian or Jesse Ventura, you get accused of either wasting your vote or being a spoiler for one of the bland old parties. Or, if you don’t vote because you don’t make a difference, you get treated like the hamburger at the vegetarian ball.
I did vote but the ballot was sort of like looking at the menu at McDonald’s. There were few different names, but you still have a feeling that it would all end up tasting the same. I don’t hold politicians to high standards. Right now, I would settle for someone who can pronounce the word “nuclear” correctly and who understands enough geography to know that America and the United States are not synonymous.
Dennis Hinkamp’s column appears every Friday in The Statesman. Comments can be sent to him at slightlyoffcenter@attbi.com