COLUMN: Prepare for the holidays by finding your love
With summer ending for good and winter looming around the corner, it seems people always start looking for the cozy, warm, fuzzy things to occupy their time.
Among these things is usually a sweet thing to cuddle up with next to a fire. You see, in the fall it is the time to find your lover, so you have someone to share the holidays with. It all starts in October/November so the relationship can carry through Thanksgiving and Christmas. It moves to New Year’s Eve and then culminating with “Single Awareness Day.” Then a quick and “painless” break up in time for spring and summer when it is one long, non-stop party of endless flings and debauchery. Well, that is the theory anyway.
So, just how does one go about finding their perfect companion for the holiday season? Really, there are so many great options for the poor and lonely of Utah State University. For starters, there is the night life of thriving Logan. Bars offer a great place to pick up someone new. Maybe not.
How about the Institute? Surly you can find your “Eternal Flame” (sorry, bad ’80s pop reference … my bad). OK, so maybe that’s not your scene either. You people are just too damn picky. You take out bars and religion and what do you have left? The Internet.
And don’t sit there and act like you haven’t tried it. Well maybe you haven’t, but you’ve thought about it – so, don’t be so smug.
With a plethora of dating services online, how can you go wrong? You can find a site for just about everyone: LDSsingles.com, Great-expectations.net, Aahsingles.com, Jdate.com (for our Jewish friends), Agooddate.com, Greeksingles.com, Animalpeople.com, Lovedetectives.com, Atheistsingles.com (for the non-believers), Hotboots.com (cowboy lovin’), Adammeeteve.com (Christian singles), Millionairematch.com (if you aren’t one, don’t bother) and finally for the holistic folks there is meetyourgreens.com. Everyone of these are actual sites. But how can you go wrong with more than 1,380,000 sites listed on Yahoo! alone.
So, you decide you can actually make a post on one of these fine Web pages. But a thousand questions plague your mind and keep you up at night. Where do I start? Which site is right for me? What do I do if I find love? (Well, that one I can’t answer for you, your parents should have covered this one when you were younger. If they didn’t, please refer back to the “Book of Parents” and they can tell you everything you need to know, after all, they do have all knowledge and
wisdom.)
I thought it might be a good idea to show you an example of what a solid personal would look like, so here goes. This is an actual post from a woman who seems to know just what she wants:
I am looking for a confident, attractive (preferably dark haired with a nice head of hair), tall (over 6′), big build (can have some love handles as I love to squeeze them as long as they are not too squeezeable, lol) man. Must be financially stable, someone that can tickle my tummy when I think of them, honest, intelligent, romantic, and an affectionate man that likes to laugh and tries to be positive about life’s ups and downs. Also, I am searching for my “Best Friend” … who will be there for me in the good and bad times … someone who will listen to what I mean when I talk and not just what I say.
Though I think my favorite was this one:
I want to find a male version of me with some differences of course.
That is all it said. I’ll bet she gets a lot of dates. I mean articulate people do have the advantage. Hold me back.
So, you have started to write your profile, here are some basic tips to make them better.
• CREATE A ‘GRABBER’. A ‘grabber’ is an attention-getting headline that makes you seem more desirable than the Joe Schmuk next to you.
• Try not to sound desperate. That defeats the purpose.
• Nothing is wrong with using humor.
• Throw in a dash of mystery, people dig intrigue.
• Get a life (Sorry, this is what we are trying to help with, I forgot.)
So, get online and find yourself someone to love. If you don’t, you may just have to wait for the next Friday night activity.
Justin Berry is working toward his second bachelor’s degree in theater performance. Comments can be sent to Justinsb26@hotmail.com.