COLUMN: Preparing to say goodbye to Glenn

    This past week, the Fox news network lost my all-time favorite of their targets. That’s right everyone, Glenn Beck and Fox have decided to see other pundits. This certainly doesn’t mean he’s disappearing from our airwaves. I feel that I can step back comfortably and embark on a journey down the path of absurdity only Beck could construct.

    First we’ll start with climate change.

    “One might think we’re on the road to the Hitler youth,” Beck said on the subject of teaching the science of climate change and carbon emissions in schools. “Al Gore’s not going to be rounding up Jews and exterminating them. It is the same tactic, however. The goal is different. The goal is globalization … And you must silence all dissenting voices. That’s what Hitler did. That’s what Al Gore, the U.N., and everybody on the global warming bandwagon (are doing).” – May 1, 2007.

    Now those of us who have taken courses on the matter know what a scientific consensus is. I believe we also recognize that a peer review journal or the Kyoto protocol and “Mien Kampf” don’t really bear any resemblance to one another.

    Or, you have what Beck said about gun control:

    “I went to the movie this weekend with a gun. And surprise, surprise, I didn’t kill anybody!”

    Why yes, Glenn, that is a bit of a surprise considering this little gem:

    “I’m thinking about killing Michael Moore, and I’m wondering if I could kill him myself, or if I would need to hire somebody to do it. … No, I think I could,” Beck said in 2005.

    Or, there’s always this one:

    “You know, we all have our inner demons. I, for one – I can’t speak for you, but I’m on the verge of moral collapse at any time. It can happen by the end of the show.” – Nov. 6, 2006.

    Or this one.

    “The most used phrase in my administration if I were to be President would be ‘What the hell you mean we’re out of missiles?'” – 2009.

    My first introduction to Beck was being stuck in a car for two hours with a pair of avid listeners in 2007. On that particular day, the topic for his radio show was embryonic stem cell research on which Beck has made such enlightened remarks as:

    “So here you have Barack Obama going in and spending the money on embryonic stem cell research. … In case you don’t know what Eugenics led us to: the Final Solution. A master race! A perfect person. … The stuff that we are facing is absolutely frightening.” – March 9, 2009.

    This particular statement characterizes president Obama’s decision to discontinue the executive order blocking federal funding to work on new stem cell lines, including embryos slated to be thrown out from in vitro fertilization clinics. I was not aware that my party had such incredibly sinister aspirations, that is definitely not in the campaign e-mails I’ve been getting. This may be an example of what comedian Lewis Black has called Beck’s “Nazi Tourette’s.” On top of that I feel that considering that we’re working toward cures for spinal cord and brain injuries, Parkinson’s disease treatment and hope for a cure to alzheimer’s rather than a move for the “master race,” the diseases we’re fighting are what are absolutely frightening.  

    Now, Glenn Beck has done an incredibly effective job of marketing himself, and I feel we can safely say that his radio show will go on as well as his constant stream of books. So for now, Glenn, your advertisers and your network may have run screaming but we will always hold a place for your lunacy in our hearts.

Anna Jane Harris is a junior majoring in political science. She can be reached at anna.j.harris@aggiemail.usu.edu.