COLUMN: Shaq–this little piggy stayed home
When Canada won gold in hockey, it was a triumphant moment for a nation seeking to regain dominance in its own game.
Hockey great Wayne Gretzky, who is Canada’s executive director of hockey, said, “The Canadian people are probably having a great time from coast-to-coast, they’ve waited a long time for this. This is something our country needed, we needed to win this tournament.”
Tears streamed down the faces of Canada’s best players as “Oh Canada” was played at the medal ceremony. They were not playing for themselves, they were playing for their country.
Now let’s compare that with America’s current situation in our dominant sport, basketball. Here are a few of the players who declined the invitation to play in last summer’s World Championships in Indianapolis: Shaquille O’Neal, Tim Duncan, Jason Kidd, Allen Iverson, Tracy McGrady, Kobe Bryant, Ray Allen, and Kevin Garnett.
You would think that our embarrassing sixth-place finish in last year’s would have been a wake-up call.
For some it was. Kobe Bryant said last week that he would play. Duncan, Kidd, McGrady and Allen have also committed. Garnett and Iverson are undecided. But what about Shaquille O’Neal, who is almost universally recognized as the most impressive physical presence on the planet? Nope. Here’s what Shaq had to say:
“No way, I already have two medals,” O’Neal told Fox Sports Net last week. “We were 55-0 when I played, and I don’t want to tarnish that.”
Excuse me? Last summer we took sixth! Five countries came into our kitchen, stole all of the food, and left mud on the carpet.
But that doesn’t bother Shaq. He already has two medals and doesn’t want his Olympic image tarnished. Nice competitive attitude. I don’t buy it.
Even though the Lakers have won three straight world championships, he is willing to risk tarnishing that image by coming back for number four. Then again, the Lakers paid Shaq $21.43 million last year.
Shaq’s second reason for not playing in the Olympics is because Phil Jackson isn’t the coach.
After hearing that Larry Brown had been selected to coach the team, O’Neal said, “Larry Brown’s the coach? There’s a pain on the outside of my knee in 2004 … So, if Phil’s not the coach, I probably will not play through the pain.”
What pain is he referring to? His toe hurts. I haven’t heard which toe it is that ails the 7-foot-1-inch 350 pound giant, but I would guess that it’s toe number two. After all, in the nursery rhyme, the second is the “little piggy [that] stayed at home.”
Although an argument could be made from his childish excuses that it’s toe number five, crying “‘wee-wee-wee’ all the way home.”
Shaq has rearranged the words in John F. Kennedy’s famous line: “Ask not what you can do for your country — ask what your country can do for you.”
America has allowed Shaq to become insanely wealthy by playing basketball, doing commercials, making a rap album and acting in a couple of movies. Rough life.
In the name of money, he’s willing to put his image on the line representing Radio Shack, Nestle Crunch and Burger King. But when all that’s at stake is national pride, Shaq says, “No thanks aMErIca.”
Clark Jessop is a senior majoring in broadcast journalism. Comments can be sent to clarkjessop@cc.usu.edu.