COLUMN: Splitting is never easy
Breaking up is hard to do … We’ve all heard the song and I’m sure we can all relate. However, which is worse, breaking up with or being broken up with?
I think it’s safe to assume that everyone on this campus has either been dumped or had to do the dumping. I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve seen the worst of both worlds. Yes, I too, have been dumped. Even knowing what both are like I have yet to decide which is worse.
Breaking up with a guy, for me and I hope for you, has evolved from making your best friend relay the news to your week long boyfriend that your relationship has run its coarse. I mean, it made perfect sense not to do it yourself, seeing as while you were “going out” you only spoke one or two actual sentences to each other eye to eye, and the rest of your deeply involved relationship consisted of phone conversations and notes.
Now into our college career we’ve become more mature in our relationship endeavors. We simply fade them out. I’m sure most of you are familiar with this term because this is how a majority of relationships are ended here at USU and those who are faded must accept their fade and move on. I don’t know about you, but I can’t decide which is worse, being dumped through a friend or a fade.
I’ll be honest though, I like many, have faded and still feel somewhat guilty, because I do feel that everyone deserves an explanation. But consider a situation in which your dumpee refuses acceptance to the dump. Maybe not vocally, but the next day he shows up at your doorstep with a smile acting as if the dump hadn’t occurred. You’re so confused by the situation that you go along with the peculiar behavior, the dump ceases and you’re right back in the game.
This sadly, is no hypothetical, it actually happened … to me! The relationship lasted for three years due to the fact I was in a state of confusion whenever I attempted to end it.
It’s true. I don’t do all the dumping. Being dumped for me is more painful to my pride than it is to my heart. I spend more time rebuilding my self esteem than getting over the guy. Now I don’t mean to sound vain, but I’m sure many girls can agree with me when I say this … we always think our good looks and sparkling personality will eventually make them come crawling back. A lot of the time this hypothesis holds true, however, when it doesn’t your ego goes bungee jumping without a cord.
In an instance when I have totally disagreed with a reason to break up, I made a fool of myself trying to make him understand what a huge mistake he was making. I did this for two reasons only: I love being right and I love getting my way. So being dumped despite my efforts is even harder on the pride.
Being dumped and doing the dumping are equally hard, not to mention somewhat annoying, yet are unavoidable. We’re all looking for that special someone and until we find them, the tradition of breaking up will
continue.
So if you’re considering calling it quits, keep feelings in mind, don’t have a friend do it, try not to fade and don’t do it on Valentine’s Day. It’s just good break up etiquette.
Kelli Palmer is a senior majoring in broadcast journalism. Comments may be sent to kap@cc.usu.edu