COLUMN: Spring fashion disaster
It’s spring in Logan again. Flowers are blooming, birds are chirping, the sky is a luscious blue and beautiful green leaves dress the trees.
OK, so that’s not really what Logan looks like, but I can dream, right? At least the temperatures are rising, which means we are shedding our winter layers of clothes. I feel that I am the first person to drop the drab sweaters and clunky shoes for a colorful shirt and flip-flops. It’s important once the sun comes out to show off your personal style; however, some of you look as you’ve suffered from a wardrobe tornado when you got ready. I can no longer stand around and watch these fashion disasters continue unchecked. There is nothing worse than watching a walking fashion faux pas with all the confidence in the world. Let me be the first to say I don’t advocate not getting yourself ready. Even on days when I’m just wearing sweats, I make sure to put myself together. I have seen some off-looks. Like ladies fixing their hair and getting their faces made up, just to throw on a tattered T-shirt and men’s gym shorts for the day. Guys, it is called a comb, find one and use it. Now that I got that out of the way, here are just a few “great” spring looks that really make me want to claw my eyes out.
Now ladies, I know that when the sun comes out we want to splash on the color, but do you have to splash on every color you own, at the same time? It’s seriously color overkill when you wear enough colors to put Sherwin Williams’ paint collection to shame, and some of the styles are completely outrageous! The first day of semi-warm weather I saw a girl walking around in a tutu! A tutu! Unless you are on your way to the local production of Swan Lake, that’s not appropriate. Even more inappropriate is fake baking. We live in Logan; anywhere you go in America it is known that it’s not bright and sunny here all the time. So why must you insist on frying your skin to unnatural colors or, worse, slathering ounce upon ounce of ungodly orange fake tanner on your bodies? If that isn’t bad enough, you put pounds of makeup on your face in hopes of looking light and bright. Ladies, you look just fine naturally. Let nature’s work shine.
Men, don’t get too excited, because you aren’t off the hook. You guys sometimes look like you are in a battle to prove the male peacock inferior and you are losing badly. Neon-colored sunglasses, neon-colored T-shirts, neon-colored scarves, neon-colored shorts, neon-colored shoes; just typing about this gets me kind of nauseated. Some times less is more, and, in the case of the neon trend, a lot less please. I don’t know about other people out there, but I enjoy my sight. Every time I see a guy with a color explosion on, my eyes start to twitch, and I find it hard to differentiate normal colors. Wearing lots of neon seems to be a real health risk. I don’t mean that you have to walk around dressed like the late great Johnny Cash, but those shutter sunglasses look ridiculous on Kanye West and they look ridiculous on you. So I’m begging you, ladies and gentlemen, please help me keep my sanity for the time I have left here. It’s not hard to look good. We are Aggies; we could make potato sacks look good. So stop trying so hard to be in fashion, and you might just set a new trend.
Earnest Cooper Jr. is a junior in interdisciplinary studies from Dallas, Texas. Cooper is a member of Pi Kappa Alpha and the Black Student Union. Cooper volunteers with GLBTA, is director of the Council of Student Clubs and Organizations and is a member of the Student Advisory Council to President Stan Albrecht. Comments may be left at www.aggietownsquare.com.