COLUMN: Swedish Fish and Nintendo — a winning combination
Note: Clark’s comments will be in normal style, Marty’s will be in italics
I’m glad to have Marty Reeder with me for this column. Marty has a column called “Brilliant Solutions” that appears regularly, although I’m not quite sure why he calls it that.
I’m really glad to participate with Clark in this column, but I’m starting to wonder whether or not his promise of a year’s supply of swedish fish is going to be delivered. Speaking of titles, though, Clark’s title for his column leaves both English and Spanish speakers something to be desired.
Listen here, Chunky, first I’ll address the swedish fish situation. It was your dad that came to my mom saying your column needed some credibility, and promised the year’s supply of swedish fish.
Secondly, my title is witty and clever. Uniting North and South America. Meanwhile, if you ask me, your “Brilliant Solutions” would be more properly called “Stupid things I thought of while staring at my ceiling late at night.”
Funny you should mention that. That actually was the original title of my column, but my editor said he didn’t think there should be that much truth portrayed in newspapers. By the way, how in the heck did I get stuck with this dang Italics style?
Fine, you ingrate, I’ll take the italics. What’s the point of this? (Intermediary note: Clark’s wife’s comments will be in underline/bold, if you hadn’t guessed that already). Anyway Marty, let’s tell them what we have decided to talk about today. And I believe that it can be summed up in one word: Nintendo.
Sure, you go ahead and take the beautiful-looking italics while I get stuck with normal old plain print. But I will plod on nonetheless because our subject is so important. In a world full of high-tech computers, vehicles and toasters, it seems that we are forgetting some of the things that helped our advanced society arrive at where we are now. No, I’m not talking about yo-yo’s. I’m talking about what Clark just mentioned: Nintendo (regular Nintendo that is). Although, I’m afraid that this may only be a stance understood by males.
Yes, I’ve done a lot of great things in my life. I got my Arrow of Light in Cub Scouts and rescued infants from burning buildings. But never – and I say never – have I felt as high as the moment I beat Mike Tyson in Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out. Just to see him lying so helpless there on the mat while referee Mario counted to 10 … I get emotional just talking about it. Please take over Marty (sniff).
Please don’t cry on the keyboard, Clark. Yet, I must agree with you. While I’ve yet to experience that beautifully described scene you just described of Mike Tyson being whooped (it sure sounds like a fun, family experience everyone should have), I have had my fair share of Nintendo victories. I can vouch that a virtual victory is 10 times more rewarding than anything “real life” can offer. Amen to that. Why don’t we all just seclude ourselves with Nintendos for the rest of our lives in order to experience true joy instead of the superficial joy that “service” and “humanitarian aid” provide?
You see Marty, that’s why we decided to write this thing together. There was no exchange of swedish fish. Sure we may disagree on whether Justin Timberlake looked better with the curly hair or the buzz look. And so what if we don’t see eye to eye on the whole “Pokemon” vs. “Dragonball Z” issue. But when it comes to the important things – like Zelda, Tecmo Bowl and the never ending world of Super Mario Bros., we are two peas in a pod.
That is truly a wonderful way to end a column Clark – however, did I catch you saying there would be no exchange of swedish fish?