COLUMN: The Best and Worst Movie Trailers for 2001
THE BEST
Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of The Rings (Dec. 19)
Based on the trailers for this flick, I’d say Titanic better gird up her loins, because this literature-to-film extravaganza seems to have enough gumption, creativity and stamina to climb the box-office charts. However, anyone who has ever been enchanted by a slick movie preview and then disappointed, knows how easily a film can slip into the sewer. Moreover, because I know there are enough Hobbit-worshipers on this campus to hunt me down and whip me with copies of their Tolkien anthologies, I hesitate to say this, but this movie will be either four stars or no stars. There is no middle ground for this flick.
Ali (Dec. 7)
This trailer looks like newsreel from the 1960s and 1970s. All I can say, between the goosebumps and the drool, is wow, this film looks utterly amazing. Barring any major disappointments, I’d like to offer an early Oscar prediction: Will Smith (The Legend of Bagger Vance) will be nominated for best actor and Jamie Foxx (Any Given Sunday) will be nominated for best supporting actor. Neither will win. In addition, Michael Mann, the maestro behind the under-awarded 1999 drama The Insider, directs this movie.
Shallow Hal (Nov. 9)
Leave it to the Farrelly brothers (There’s Something About Mary,Dumb and Dumber) to push the limits of good taste and make us laugh at the same time. If you haven’t seen this trailer then you’ve missed Gwyneth Paltrow (Bounce) in a fat-suit, becoming the girlfriend of Jack Black (Saving Silverman, High Fidelity), who can only see inner-beauty after being hypnotized by Anthony Robbins. In the preview, Paltrow doing a cannonball into a swimming pool is alone worth the price of admission.
K-Pax (Oct. 26)
Kevin Spacey (American Beauty) is hands down one of the top two actors working in Hollywood today. Like Anthony Hopkins, with facial mannerisms, voice inflection and a complete understanding of story and character, Spacey conveys an honesty not overly found in film today. In this flick he plays a mental patient who thinks he is an alien. In the two-and-one-half-minute sample there is a quote worth repeating. Spacey said, “You know what I’ve learned about your planet? There’s enough life on Earth to fill 50 planets. Be prepared for anything.” Just please, don’t let this be another disappointment like “Pay It Forward.”
Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones (May 22)
Yeah, this trailer hasn’t hit theaters yet, but it should be attached to either Monsters’ Inc. or Harry Potter and The Sorcerer’s Stone, in November. Like the Episode One trailer that appeared before A Bug’s Life, in 1998, its premiere should commence the colossal hype which will surround the movie until its May 2002 release.
Honorable Mention: Super Troopers (Nov. 30); “Corky Romano” (Oct. 12); Monsters’ Inc. (Nov. 2); Not Another Teen Movie (Dec. 14); The Royal Tenenbaums (Dec. 21).
THE WORST
Glitter (Now Playing)
Mariah Carey’s first movie is stupid, stupid, stupid. This is a flick where the trailer actually resembles the movie. Garbage, big time.
Black Knight (Nov. 21)
Once you’ve seen one Martin Lawrence movie, you’ve seen them all. This version has the loudmouth, annoying, Eddie Murphy wannabe meandering throughout medieval France. Too bad for them and us. If you have seen this trailer and you see this movie, you should be deported.
Iron Monkey (Oct. 12)
When this trailer first premiered, I thought it was a joke. Really. Iron Monkey? What’s with the title? Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon was an awe-inspiring film, full of beauty and magic, but it clearly is something which cannot be recreated. This trailer sputtered and seemed confused, and my guess is the film will follow the same clouded cinematic mantra.
The Affair of the Necklace (Nov. 30)
Boys Don’t Cry, is gritty and tough to watch. Hilary Swank deserved her best actress award, but since receiving her gold statue, she has been incognito. If this is her “welcome home” film, I feel truly sorry for her. The Affair of the Necklace looks almost as fun as having your prostate examined.
On the Line (Oct. 19)
This was the fastest downloading trailer on www.apple.com and my guess is because not one person in America was viewing its mediocre contents besides me. Ugh, N’SYNC meets the movies, I’d rather be force-fed cat food and made to watch the Freddie Prinze, Jr. movie marathon. With this said, some theater, probably Movies 5, will get this lame flick, and another, more worthwhile movie will be left out in the cold.
Dishonorable Mention: The One (Nov. 2); Don’t Say A Word (Now Playing); Hardball (Now Playing); Spy Game (Nov. 21); From Hell (Oct. 19).
Andy Morgan is a graduate student studying communications. Commentscan be sent to lordofthejazz@hotmail.com.