Column: The Things I Put Up With; I am man, hear me roar

I’m a man – but I can change – if I have to – I guess.

These words were put to the test a couple weekends ago when a lovely young woman and I made a deal. See, I wouldn’t stop giving her a hard time about liking her chick-flick movies and she just about died when I told her that I was a Trekkie.

So we decided to swap. I had to watch all six hours of “Pride and Prejudice” and she had to watch three “Star Trek” movies. And I swear on my death bed that she got the better end of that trade.

Now, I was nice and had her watch Star Trek II: The Wrath of Kahn, Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country and Star Trek: Generations. But if she had made me watch all six hours of her movie in one sitting, I was going to break out Star Trek: The Motion Picture, Star Trek V: The Final Frontier and Star Trek: Insurrection. If you got that joke, you are definitely a Trekkie.

She admitted that she was pleasantly surprised with how good the nerdy movies were, even complimenting the “soap opera” twist in “The Wrath of Kahn.” However, as hard as she tried, she just could not keep a straight face when I tried to explain why the Klingon Bird-of-Prey couldn’t shoot its torpedoes while it was cloaked.

But it went both ways. I must admit, “Pride and Prejudice” was much better than I thought it would be. I was expecting a “Sleepless in Seattle” or “Titanic”-type of chick-flick. You know, girl meets boy, they fall in love, but live on different sides of the country, boy drowns on a big boat, girl still looks for him on the top of the Empire State Building but finds Cary Grant instead. The usual story.

But “Pride and Prejudice” actually had a relatively decent plot. A really, really long plot, but a good one. It didn’t take long to see why girls like this movie. It has romance, relationships, Colin Firth, soldiers, relationships, Colin Firth, romance, guys in uniform, relationships and, did I mention, Colin Firth?

And unlike the other 99 percent of chick-flicks, there was actually a realistic male character in Mr. Bennett. Most other girly movies portray all men as being either stereotypically macho, goofy, gay or super-romantic. And while these types of males can be found in society, they hardly comprise a majority. But Mr. Bennett’s character was a great relief.

The biggest part of this movie that I didn’t understand was Mr. Darcy. He is played by Mr. Firth and the girls I was watching this movie with absolutely adored the ground he walked on.

I don’t get it. We men don’t go walking around checking each other out, but we can tell if a guy has looks or not. And I don’t get what Mr. Firth had that other actors don’t. I use the word “actor” loosely, seeing how Mr. Darcy showed absolutely no signs of any emotion throughout the entire movie, except for one brief moment where his frown almost turns into a smile – what is apparently known as “The Darcy Look.”

Girls are weird. Their movies are even weirder. And while I may not have any room to talk, being a Trekkie, I do not enjoy girly movies.

Because I’m a man. But I can change – if I have to – I guess.

Bryan Hinton is a senior majoring in print journalism. Comments can be sent to bhhinton@cc.usu.edu