Column: Things you never learned; You are what you think you are, How to build self-confidence and positive thinking
I’m too fat.
I’m too stupid.
I can’t do that.
Who would like me?
Nothing drives me more crazy than people, usually females, with a level of self-confidence lower than their shoe size. Walking upright throughout your day, taking the world head-on with a smile on your face is one of the most important attributes anyone can possess. Having the confidence to try new things, meet new people and interact socially is essential to a healthy student life.
To build your self-confidence, start out by thinking positively. If you have to fake it at first, go for it, but you’re not going to convince anyone if you can’t convince yourself first. Say positive things about others and remember what your mother taught you, “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.” That includes comments you make about yourself.
When you look at yourself in the mirror, recognize your good points – and don’t dwell in front of a mirror for too long, since looking longer won’t make anything better. It’s a fact that most people underestimate the quality of their looks by about 25 percent, so stop being to harsh on yourself.
Make a comment. During class discussion or when you’re with a new group of people, don’t hesitate to say what you think or make a point.
Say hi to others. Even if you don’t know them, smile and say hi to people you see walking around campus or in the halls.
Don’t dwell on the negative. Either find a way to change it or find a way to accept it, but dwelling on anything doesn’t help you achieve it.
Go swimming. Yes. I don’t care what size you are. In fact, be up for anything your friends suggest. Nothing makes an evening more awkward than when everyone wants to go hot-tubbing but you can’t because one or two girls won’t go because they are self-conscious. Then the entire night is filled with, “Well we can’t go hot-tubbing because so and so wouldn’t, so we’re just chilling here watching some old movie,” or “Well, now what are we going to do?” or you run the risk of being left home with yourself.
This is where faking it can really come into play. If you feel fat in your bathing suit, fake it. Pretending that you feel comfortable in a swimsuit will help you convince yourself that you are comfortable in a swimsuit and trust me, the guys your with will be more impressed with a girl full of confidence than a girl who stays home.
Join a club. Find people who are interested in the same things as you and surround yourself with their optimism.
Go outside. If the weather ever starts to warm up, start spending time outside. Get out of your room, put down the remote and take a walk or lay out in a field.
Wear clothes you love. Make sure you feel comfortable. Don’t try to be someone else by wearing what’s “in” or “hip,” wear what you like and what makes you feel good. Wearing clothes you love makes you feel great in them.
Exercise regularly. Exercising brings out endorphins, which are proven to brighten peoples’ moods and make them feel better about themselves.
Remember that nobody is perfect. Even that girl or guy you see everyday who seems to have it all together – trust me, they don’t. But don’t let other people drag you down. If they say something mean, they are obviously trying to build themselves up, so don’t let them and simply walk away.
Stick to your guns. Don’t compromise your principles or beliefs to simply fit in and feel better, because once that group of friends leave, you’re left with nothing if you’ve lost your principles.
Try something new. Pick up a hobby that you never fully developed, find a hidden talent that you know you do well and start taking lessons or find something you’ve always wanted to do, but never did and commit to start today. Pick up the guitar in the corner, grab a skateboard or go dancing. Whatever it is, try everything and anything.
Above all, remember not to try too hard. Pay attention to how people respond around you. If you notice they aren’t talking very much, you’re probably talking too much.
Having self-confidence does not make you better, only equal. Self-confidence allows you to trust yourself, control your life and give you the ability to do whatever it is you want to do.
Every time I call my dad, the call ends in the same way, “You go girl,” he says. Keeping that small phrase in mind is essential. Go for it, try it out, taste it, introduce yourself. Whatever it takes, you go girl.
Emma Tippetts is a junior majoring in law and constitutional stuides and print journalism please send any comments or how-to questions to etippetts@cc.usu.edu