COLUMN: Too lazy to read the news? Molly will read it to you
I’ve discovered a misconception readers have about Statesman writers. It seems that unless a picture of the author appears with their article, they are perceived as faceless, voiceless, abstract beings whose only method of communication is through writing.
Not only is this untrue, but it’s damaging. I mean, who wants to date a faceless, voiceless, abstract being? Not anyone who recognizes my byline, that’s for sure.
Well I’m glad to say that I’ve taken some steps to lay this erroneous belief to rest. First, I wrote an opinion piece, which means my picture got in the paper. Success! And second, I recorded my voice online reading the news and all of you have access to it through the Statesman Web site. So, there goes the voiceless fallacy.
How did I accomplish this technological and reputation-saving achievement? It’s a little thing I like to call Podcasting. Yes, you read correctly, you can now hear the news. Writers with especially engaging voices are selected to read exerpts from the biggest, breakingest news that appears in The Statesman.
This bold move wasn’t just for my own benefit, because like always, I had the reader in mind. (Especially the one who must think I can’t talk or he’d call me already). I think there are a couple of specific segments of students who have a lot to gain from an audio version of The Statesman.
Firstly, students who suffer from papryophobia, the fear of paper, will no longer have to look longingly at the paper stands, knowing of the journalistic genius that lies therein, but can’t partake of it due to medical limitations. Quit your longing and log on to our Web site, click on “podcasts” and enjoy a safe listening environment that’s paper free, guaranteed!
Secondly, the ever-present population of students whose mp3 headphones have become one with their ears can now keep up on the current happenings at Utah State without having to interrupt the constant audio flow. Have those voices in your ears be those of our star writers!
And lastly, it has been brought to my attention by some, well, rather disturbing e-mails, that there are some who have secret crushes on bylines like Di Lewis, Steve Shinney, and gasp … Molly Farmer for no apparent reason other than they like bold-face type. For you, well creeps, another dimension can be added to your fondness by listening to their alluring voices tell breaking news via the Internet.
So, whether you have a fear of silence, a fear of paper or you just have to know what your favorite writer sounds like, go to the Web site and enjoy the sound waves. It’s podcastic!
Molly is a junior majoring in journalism who is just now getting over not being asked to Homecoming. You can direct questions or comments to mof@cc.usu.edu.