COLUMN: Worry away registration stress
It’s a Tuesday in the middle of November, and because I have gone through this time of year several years now, I want to take a moment and show my loving sympathy for you.
Its okay, I understand.
You can be strong.
Just believe. Trust me, you’ll get through this. Class registration will through and done with before you even know it.
By this time if you aren’t a junior, senior, matriculated graduate student – and according to lengthy research, nobody in the general public understands what matriculated graduate student means – or one of the few with the fervor and luck to have earned the godsend that is priority registration, you are just now facing the semesterly mental and physical neck pain that class registration can cause.
Believe me: I completely see where you are coming from. If it is not one thing it is the other. A night of signing up for classes is sure to include a devilish cavalcade of networks crashing, filled classes, batteries dying, distractions in lieu of Twitter hoaxes, undercooked chicken nuggets and everything in between.
So yes, it is, by youthful definition, a for-sure “crap sauce” time of year, but I am here to tell you that amid all of the gall and frustration, you can keep your head up. Trust me when I say situations could always be worse.
Don’t believe me? Here is a list of things that are definitely worse than surviving registration week.
Unforeseen climate changes – Its goes like this, and allow me to be formal for a second: It’s gotten pretty friggidy-dippity cold outside. So while picking classes and arranging how they will fit into your schedule in such a frantic settings against thousands of people your age, at least you are still indoors.
Purchasing a used car – If you have ever spent hours upon hours dodging sob stories and scammers on Craigslist, you know exactly what I am talking about. Even after heaving the convenience of learning what “OBO” means, there will still be clusters of questioning miles, repairs and everything in between before finally giving up and settling on the first Ford Taurus that can freely roll down a hill without violently drifting to the left.
A lack of sandwich options – Nothing says “times can’t sink any lower” when you want regular mustard and all you have is Dijon. I’m sorry, but most of us just aren’t that classy.
It’s a long drive, and you have to pee – This moment comprises the ultimate panic mode. Failing on mitigating this situation properly leads to nothing but pain and embarrassment. The sad thing is, it can only be inevitable with as much as people travel – just in case you wondered why several people steadily keep toilet paper rolls in their glove compartments.
Shin splints – If you have never had to walk across a parking lot in a shin splint, you may never know specifically why this makes this list, but it is most certainly far from fun. To illustrate – have ever seen how ineffective a line drive in baseball ends up when the bat breaks? Well, replace line drive with walking, and make the bat your legs. That’s right: It’s like the first 45 minutes of “Forrest Gump,” but all the time.
When you want to buy a nice button-up shirt for a formal event in the future but you can’t, for the life of you, remember what your torso measurements are but the blasted shirts on display are only measured in small, medium or large and you can’t remember if large or medium was too tight on your chest in the colder months – I don’t feel I need to explain this scenario any further.
Getting too full on appetizers at a restaurant – actually, scratch that. This is awesome. It’s like getting to go to Olive Garden twice.
See what I mean? There happens to be a whole lot of things worth head scratching over than class registration.
Besides, you have to pay for textbooks again soon. It’s best to save your frustration for Amazon.
– Steve Schwartzman is a senior in communication studies and linguistics. When he isn’t trying too hard to make people laugh he is usually watching sports, watching 90’s cartoons or experiencing all things Aggie Life. Got a good idea for Steve to rant about? Hit him up at steve.schwartzman@aggiemail.usu.edu
or on Twitter @SchwartZteve