Dating can be difficult at USU
Students who are not members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints at USU may find it more difficult to date. Non-LDS students say they feel there is judgment made about them by the majority of students on campus who are LDS. Although some of these students respect the values and beliefs of fellow LDS students, it creates a problem when looking for a serious relationship.
Kalie Vickers, sophomore majoring in physical education, is a member of the LDS church. She said it is difficult to cultivate a relationship because of the unique view LDS members have about marriage.
“I would go on a first date and also become friends with someone who is not Mormon, but the ultimate goal between an LDS couple cannot be achieved if one person is not LDS,” Vickers said. “If a couple like this started to become serious, it only makes it harder for the couple when they realize it can’t work between them.”
Vickers said she had previously started a relationship with someone who didn’t share her LDS faith. After three or four dates, she said she had to end it. Although there were many factors that played into ending the relationship, it was the fact he was not LDS that eventually led to the breakup, she said.
Ashley Halverson, sophomore majoring in sociology, said she thinks it is difficult to find a serious relationship at USU because she is not LDS herself. She was baptized as a Lutheran, but said she was still raised mostly by LDS standards. Halverson said even though she wasn’t baptized into the LDS church, it has still played a major role in her life.Halverson said she has seen relationships where it didn’t work out because of different religious beliefs. She said she feels couples can still be together and have a relationship that works even if they are affiliated with different religions.
“People have to be on the same religious level, but that doesn’t necessarily mean the same religion,” Halverson said.
Jeff Wilkinson, sophomore majoring in graphic design, is not LDS and also feels the dating pool is very limited at USU because of religion. Wilkinson said he was in a previous relationship with a girl who was Mormon. The relationship became serious, but eventually ended because of religious differences.
Wilkinson said he respects girls that only want to date guys who are LDS. However, he said he’s still open to dating Mormon girls, as long as they are OK with the difference in their religions before a relationship starts.
“I realize here in Utah I am a religious minority, and I’m OK with that,” Wilkinson said.
Andrea Riley, sophomore majoring in education, feels differently about the dating situation at USU. She is a member of the LDS church, and said she feels dating wouldn’t be more difficult for non-LDS students on campus. She said students who aren’t LDS could easily date other students who are also not Mormon.
When asked about the stereotype that LDS girls are only willing to date returned missionaries in order to find their “eternal partner,” Riley said she felt a lot of it was true.
“For sure. I mean let’s be honest,” Riley said, “so many girls at USU are only willing, or looking, to date returned missionaries.”
Riley said just because someone has been on a mission doesn’t automatically mean they are a good person. She said there are many guys who are great people and never went on a mission and she has also seen many instances when return missionaries aren’t living by the standards of the LDS church, yet girls look past that just because they served an LDS mission.
Shane Jonson, junior majoring in elementary education, has served an LDS mission and also attended Brigham Young University. When asked about the stereotype, he said it was true in some cases, although it depends on the girl and also the circumstances. Jonson said when he attended BYU for a year, he saw a lot more girls who fit that stereotype.
“At BYU you get the feeling that if you ask a girl on a simple date you were sizing her up for a wedding ring,” Jonson said, “and at USU there is a much more easygoing and casual feeling when it comes to dating. Girls at USU are more likely to go on a date just for a good time and to get to know a guy better.”
–nicholas.peterson@aggiemail.usu.edu