Dating partners may be able to get protective orders under Utah bill
Most people don’t start out relationships worrying about getting a protective order against their date, but if they ever need to, they may have that possibility in the future.
House Bill 28, domestic violence and dating violence amendment, is going through the Utah Legislature. The bill was brought to session on Nov. 16, 2006, and was followed through Jan. 25. And last Friday, it was brought to the rules committee.
“I think that every person should be concerned because it’s something that we as society need to address – that people in some instances are being violent on a dating or social setting, and that’s not appropriate,” USU Police Lt. Shane Sessions said.
With the bill, any victim of dating violence, not just married or partners, would be able to file a protective order. Restraining orders are offered for anyone, but a protective order is much stronger. Sessions said. The orders are helpful but not without problems.
“It is just an order, and there is no actual body guard that stands by you,” Sessions said.
Most orders last 180 days or longer and the protective order is only temporary once it is given, Sessions said. The good thing about the order is the person assaulting the victim would be charged with criminal charges if they breach the protective order.
“If someone is committing dating violence, it would be criminally charged as any other crime as assault, as destruction of property,” Sessions said. “That does not prevent the husband from hurting her, but if he does, he will be charged with a higher penalty because he violated the court order.”
This bill is important to USU students especially because sexual assault and rape are the most common issues that Sexual Assault and Anti-Violence Information volunteers work with.
A reason why some students may not come to SAAVI is because they may not understand that what has happened to them is against the law, said Rachel Brighton, a SAAVI caseworker.
“They don’t understand that what happened to them was a criminal event,” she said. “It’s a scary thing to do to reach out and say to someone, ‘Hey, something happened to me. I’m scared. I don’t know what to do. I need help.’ That may be a really difficult step.”
One student, who preferred to remain anonymous, was threatened by her date and did not contact anyone because she was scared for her life.
“He threatened to rape me, and he told me he did something in the past but he wouldn’t tell me what,” the student said.
She said she would use the protection this bill offers if she had the same problem happen again.
“I would like to have some sort of protection so I don’t have to worry and can just live my life without having that underlying fear of him coming back,” she added. “If I could go back, then I would be less trusting.”
Brighton said students can look for warning signs with someone they are dating to keep them safe.
The top three “red flags” are if someone is overprotective, extremely jealous and they tend to isolate a person from supportive individuals such as family, friends or roommates.
“When we’re in isolation, when we’re all alone, it’s a lot easier for them to do what they are gonna to do,” Brighton said. “When we’re surrounded by supportive individuals who are backing us up, it’s much more difficult for someone to hurt us.”
The student said her date was very overprotective with her and tried to keep her isolated.
She said he was jealous of her other guy friends, and the whole relationship was secretive. She didn’t tell her family about him because he wasn’t a person she would like to bring home.
“He would wrestle with me but when he did, it was really forceful and scary. One time I got so mad that I had to grab his throat really hard just to get him off me,” she added.
The student did not seek help from the SAAVI office, but her potential assaulter moved away.
“We both moved away, and that’s when I found out that he was a criminal and former sex offender. He told me on the phone one night when he was drunk that he had done bad things involving me but wouldn’t tell me what,” the student said.
Brighton recommends keeping a journal to help in the documentation process of an order. She said to keep record of the person’s contacts such as e-mails, text messages, phone calls and personal visits. Most victims that SAAVI helps are female, but Brighton said that doesn’t mean there aren’t men who are being sexually assaulted.
Brighton said one in 10 women will report, but only one in 100 men will. She said the media feeds us a lot of distorted ideas on how men and women should act.
“If we think that the advertising that we see every day – the movies, magazines and TV, everything we read – if we don’t think that those images have an impact on how we see ourselves and how we see the opposite sex, we are sadly mistaken,” Brighton said.
She said it’s because we live in such a violent society.
“It doesn’t surprise me that that violence goes beyond just gang warfare in the street and wars between countries,” Brightion said. “The solution to violence, it’s really about all of us. It’s not just a male issue, not just a female issue. It’s a societal issue, and we all need to have our voice be heard.”
If you or a friend needs help with dating violence before this bill is passed, contact the SAAVI office at 797-1510 or the 24-hour hotline, 797-RAPE(7273). Their offices are located in the Student Wellness Center.
Both the SAAVI office and the USU Police believe that if students have strong opinions on the issues, they should contact the Utah Legislature and tell them how they feel about the issues.
To reach the Utah Legislature and see the entire bill, visit their Web Site at www.le.state.ut.us.
-ranaebang@cc.usu.edu