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Distance makes the love grow stronger

CARLI SORENSON

Phone calls, Skype and texting can be important methods of communication and play a large role in a long distance relationship.
   
Emily Bateman is a senior majoring in speech pathology. Her boyfriend of 10 months, Cameron Goold, lives in Draper. He’s studying film at Salt Lake Community College.
   
Bateman said they met the summer after they graduated from high school. They were friends until Goold got back from an LDS mission, when they started dating.
   
Kevin Olsen, a junior majoring in communications with an emphasis in journalism at Utah Valley University, has been dating Shelby Porter, a junior majoring in community health at Utah State, since June.
   
Olsen and Porter have known each other since the 8th grade. They attended junior high and high school together.
   
“We are almost always in contact,” Olsen said.
   
Jennifer Nebeker, a senior majoring in speech pathology, has been dating her boyfriend Crosby Collett for two weeks. Collett attends the LDS Business College in Salt Lake City.
   
Nebeker said she met Collett at an event she and her roommates like to have every week: “Salsa Sunday.”
   
“We just invite tons of people over, and through mutual friends we met when he happened to come up from Salt Lake,” she said. “We met two months ago and just decided to start dating.”
   
Bateman and Goold have used Skype to keep in touch, but they prefer to use texting and talking on the phone now. They visit each other frequently.
   
“I’ve gone home pretty much every weekend,” Bateman said. “He’s come up a lot during the week. We’ve made it work.”
   
Nebeker and Collett also like to use Skype to keep in contact. They try to have a Skype date every night, and if that doesn’t work they talk on the phone. They also text each other throughout the day.
   
“He comes up like midweek, just so we kind of see each other and then I go home every single weekend and we basically spend the whole weekend together,” Nebeker said. “We always know where the other one is.”
   
Regardless of how often these couples are in contact, being in a long distance relationship can be a struggle.
   
“The longer we date, the more we like each other, and so it’s that much harder to say goodbye,” said Nebeker. “It’s hard because we don’t get to see each other every single day. It’s like we have to cram so much time when we do get to see each other.”
   
“You definitely kind of feel insecure a little bit when you don’t see them in a long period of time,” said Bateman.
   
Despite the struggles of a long distance relationship, these students have managed to find the positives in being apart.
   
“Seeing each other again after a full week apart, it’s a kind of excitement that people who live five minutes from each other don’t get to experience,” Olsen said.
   
“It definitely makes it more exciting when you see each other,” Bateman said.
   
Bateman said being apart makes the relationship more exciting, but it also makes it hard.
   
“We each can do school separately and get things done, whereas if we were with each other we probably wouldn’t get as much done as we think we would,” she said.
   
“I’m kind of an independent person, so I kind of like the fact that I don’t necessarily have to see him every single day,” Nebeker said. “I kind of like that it’s just like we can each be our own independent people and we can just do our own thing and then we know we still care about each other.”
   
“I wouldn’t necessarily recommend it to anybody, because it’s definitely not fun,” Nebeker said. “I think it does put kind of a strain on the relationship where you can’t see each other every single day. You progress slowly, which for some people is nice.”
   
Nebeker said when it isn’t possible to see each other every day, the time spent together becomes even more precious.
   
“We went on a date to Cheesecake factory, and my favorite cheesecake is the lemon raspberry cheesecake,” Nebeker said. “I love it more than anything, but they didn’t have it when we went. He felt really bad, so last night he came up and surprised me and he had a piece of the cheesecake with him, so we went up really high up in the mountains and overlooked all of Logan and just ate our cheesecake together and just talked. He is seriously the sweetest.”
   
Goold has surprised Bateman as well.
   
“There was one day when I was just walking on campus and he came up behind me out of nowhere and had a day all planned out,” Bateman said.
   
Olsen and Porter were going to spend a weekend away from each other when Olsen’s boss decided he wanted to go on a double date with him and Porter.
   
“I said I obviously can’t go, my girlfriend is up at Utah State. And so my best friend texted my girlfriend and said ‘Hey, you need to come down and do a double,’ and she ended up coming on a Saturday afternoon and got here on Saturday night. It was just kind of a really spontaneous fun thing. It was a really fun weekend that wasn’t planned.”
   
“You don’t get that kind of spontaneity when you’re not in a long distance relationship,” Olsen said.
   
Nebeker said in a long distance relationship it is important to cherish the time you spend together.
   
“Take advantage of that time and even if you aren’t seeing each other every single day, still make that a priority,” she said.
   
“You really have to know what you want and really know what that person means to you,” Olsen said. “If you are wishy-washy on anything or if you don’t realize how much you two love each other, it’s not going to last.”
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Make the effort to let them know how much you do care about them,” Nebeker said. “It still shows that they are important to you, and it doesn’t make you feel like you’re being forgotten when you’re like away from each other.”
   
Bateman said to always make sure the other person feels secure.
   
“Always let them know that you love them,” she said.

-carli@jdsco.com