Everything you’ve heard about The Factory is true

When construction on The 900 Factory began, the owners spared no expense — which is partly why they ran out of money and delayed opening, setting a precedent which I believe will become their legacy.

We all remember. The Factory couldn’t honor its contracts, and hundreds of students were left desperate. The Factory became the punchline, the butt of every snide joke. (And for you freshmen who haven’t seen The Factory, just look West. You’ll definitely see it, towering above dozens of ancient houses with its six-story garage.)

I was on the fence about my current living situation, but the mice convinced me to move out. I stayed up most of the night looking for contracts on Craigslist. The next day, The Factory was the only one to respond with a vacancy.

The tour was incredible — The Factory is the definition of excess and luxury. The ceilings are so high, I haven’t even seen them yet. I have two dishwashers and two refrigerators. A double-decker hot tub, a bowling alley, a yoga room — who needs all these amenities? Also, I suspect they hire beautiful people to have barbecues by the hot tub.

I moved in a week before school started. Or at least, I was supposed to. You see, The Factory may be incredible, but it’s also not credible.

Moving in has been a nightmare for some people. I’ve seen three main issues:

• Logistical — and totally avoidable. For instance, I couldn’t move into my room for another week, because someone else was in my room, because someone else was in her room. I don’t mind sleeping on the couch, (it’s basically camping) but it shouldn’t have happened.
• ADA Compliance. There are lots of therapy dogs at The Factory. But the same provision that protects people with service dogs also protects me — I have a medical condition, an allergy to dog dander. After I had moved in, I was told I had to move to accommodate someone with a service dog. It’s a ‘hairy’ situation for the managers, but still discrimination against me. All legalities aside, I was treated poorly.
• Customer Service. Maybe others have had positive experiences, but my interactions with management have been icy — including staffers complaining about me right in front me. I plan on avoiding management as much as possible in the foreseeable future.

The Factory is the rich kid you knew in school — he invites you to play basketball in his indoor court, and you think maybe he’s cool. But then you learn he’s spoiled, yells at his mom, and is a compulsive liar. He promises to take you to see a Jazz game, so you stick around, but slowly you realize he’s probably just manipulative.

The Factory truly is luxury student living. But they take no responsibility for their failures. The Factory continues to try to buy students’ loyalty with free printers and empty promises.

— Brenna Kelly is a junior studying broadcast journalism. Tbh, her favorite part of The Factory is the refrigerators. Maybe she’ll get evicted, but she has opinions, dammit, and she’s going to share them. Angry Factory employees can cyberbully her on Twitter @bckelly8.