Experts offer advice about depression, esteem and suicide
As Mary* – who’s real name has been changed out of request – lay sobbing on her bed after an attempt to take her young life, she heard the sounds of her husband frantically dialing poison control.
“I felt really guilty because I had done it right in front of him,” Mary said.
Mary had gone to the kitchen when her husband Jeff [name changed by request] saw her reach for the Aleve.
“Jeff saw me take three of the pills and he said, ‘What’s wrong Mary? Do you have a headache?’ I wouldn’t answer him. He didn’t see that I was holding two more [pills] in my hand. I just went into my room and shut the door. I put another one in my mouth and Jeff came in and saw what I was doing. He was really worried and called poison control. I knew it wasn’t enough to really hurt me. It was more of a cry for help than a suicide attempt. They call it a suicide gesture,” she said. Suicide has recently been declared as a serious public health problem that affects more than 30,000 Americans each year, said Dr. Curt Canning, a private practitioner who formally served as a psychiatrist for Bear River Mental Health for 19 years.
The small campus community of Logan is not exempt from the far-reaching effects of suicide, said Steve Milne, Utah State University Police Lieutenant.
On Aug. 30, a USU student overdosed in a suicide attempt.
“I’d classify it more as a plea for help and not a suicide attempt,” Milne said.
The call came to the campus police from a friend of the victim. Fortunately, the individual didn’t take enough to die, just to give everyone a good scare, he said.
An average of 280 Utah residents take their own lives each year, said Cal Cazier, media liaison and education coordinator for the violence and injury prevention program of the Utah Department of Health.
“We have at least two or three suicides a year [on campus],” said David Bush, licensed psychologist at the USU Counseling Center.
Milne said many more attempts are made by university students each year which go unreported to campus police officials.
Out of the 12 health districts in the state, the Cache County district is ranked as having the fifth highest average suicide rate, said Todd Barson, health promotion director for Bear River Public Health.
“There are about 14 deaths per year that are reported and we know there are probably a few that go unreported each year,” Barson said.
“So far, this year we’ve had 40 reported attempted suicides,” said Lieutenant Greg Ridler with the Logan City Police Department.
Barson said, “Suicide is one of the few causes of death for which the Utah rate exceeds the U.S. rate.”
Utah’s average suicide rate exceeded the national average last year by a 15.1 to 11.9 ratio. Because of the continued high rates of suicide and the discrepancy in statistics, Barson said, the Utah Department of Health organized a suicide prevention task force two years ago.
The task force developed five action plans in an attempt to help decrease the suicide rate, but continue to look for and identify more solutions.
“Adolescent and young adult suicide [ages 15 to 24], especially among boys, is the leading cause of death in Utah,” Cazier said. “It’s [taken] a terrible toll on our young people. The question is why? What is going on in their lives that makes suicide seem more of an option than living? We were looking to see if we couldn’t identify those reasons. Beyond that, we really wanted to see if we couldn’t identify some way to prevent this from happening.”
“One of the fundamental problems [with suicide], is when a person’s perception of reality narrows. Sometimes they forget about their options. Either ways to cope or possibilities for the future begin to deteriorate. [The individual] just can’t see or think and is consumed sometimes with these feelings of self destruction,” Bush said.
Mary explained how the creeping feelings of depression settled into her life.
“I’d get low, really low. It wasn’t so much that I wanted to kill myself, it was more of a not wanting to live. Not wanting to be here. Not wanting to be on earth. I feel . . . like I’m in a very dark hole. I know I need to do something to get out of the hole, but it just seems too hard. When I was down, I had all these thoughts like, ‘Oh you’re worthless, you’re stupid, you’re dumb. You’re a burden on everyone and it would be better if you were gone.’ It was weird because it was like it wasn’t me thinking this, it was like it was someone else telling me these things.”
Health officials agree the first thing one should do when having suicidal thoughts is to talk to someone.
“Talk to someone you trust. Go to a teacher, physician, religious counselor, friend, sibling, parent, the yellow pages,” Canning said. “There are a lot of different venues: Church settings, chat rooms, hotlines. An obvious place to start [for USU students] is the counseling center.”
The counseling services, which are located in the Taggart Student Center, Room 306, are free of charge to students.
“We all have a tendency to be leery of mental health officials,” Canning said. “But, that is precisely what we’re trained for.”
Bush said feelings of depression and worthlessness are common. These are emotions people shouldn’t be afraid of.
“For many, it is not to the extent that they would take their life, but they wish it would end. They wish they could stop the pain. This is normal. What’s not normal is when these feelings persist for days and days and [the individual] makes elaborate plans to take his/her life,” Bush said.
Dr. R. Trent Wentz, director of adult services for Bear River Mental Health, said the best thing to do for someone who is having suicidal thoughts is to listen to them.
“Talk to them and try to share their pain. You need to help them know that you understand, at least to some degree, how they feel. If you can help them know you have some understanding of the pain that they are feeling then they will talk to you. If you can’t do that, you are out of luck. This becomes critical, Wentz said.
He offered advice to students who may know of someone considering suicide.
“Be a support and help them find other means of support. People need other people. People who are feeling suicidal and are thinking about harming themselves need to be around people who care and who will listen without judging them.”
When dealing with someone who is feeling suicidal, Bush said the focus should not be on keeping the individual from killing him or herself.
“It’s silly to think you can stop someone from taking their own life if they want to die. If the desire is there, they’ll do it. They’ll find a way.”
Instead, Bush continued, the focus should be on exploring the reasons for living.
“Our focus ought to be on helping everyone find a reason to live. What energizes me is a profound belief that people have the ability to solve their own problems and redirect their own life. Rather than trying to control them, my role [as a therapist] is to shed some light, open their view to new possibilities. I like being exposed to watching people grow and to live well. Not to merely ‘survive’, but to live well.”
Bush helps his patients find a reason to live by helping them discover what is unique about them and where their interests lie.
“Everyone has a unique factor – a gift. I try to help them unfold that gift. I help people articulate and embrace what they do well and what they have to offer the world. Whatever our sphere of influence, be it small or large, we bless people around us,” Bush said.
“If I could tell the whole world, I would say, ‘Don’t feel like you’re alone,'” Mary said. “There’s help out there. Just ask your doctor for some medication. See a therapist. Do something. There is so much help out there. I thought I was alone and I was wrong. My doctor said he’s prescribing anti-depressants to about 30 percent of his patients. < /p>
Mary has been seeing a therapist and is currently on medication. She feels like she is finally in control of her life again.
If a student or other known individual is suffering from suicidal thoughts, please call the 24-hour crisis intervention line at 752-0750 or check out the following Web sites: www.nami.org, www.ndmda.org, www.psych.org, www.apa.org, or www.uma.org.
Bear River Mental Health and the Counseling Center in the TSC also provides licensed therapists who are more than willing to help, Canning said.
.
Depression can hit students. (Livia Mendenhall )