First date secured! What about the second?
Dating is hard. There, I said it. It doesn’t matter where you live, who you are or how old you are, dating is one of the most difficult games to play. For the record, I hate it when people refer to dating as a game. I think dating should be transparent, but that’s just not the reality of it. People (myself included) are just too scared of being shot down, which makes dating much more difficult.
Still, first dates occasionally come our way, but how can you secure a second date?
1. Be yourself
Don’t even think about ignoring this one, because it’s the most important point I’m going to make in this entire article. Let me say this loudly for the people in the back: You are the most fun, kind, beautiful person when you’re being true to yourself. I’ve just learned that people actually like me when I’m quirky, loud and slightly obnoxious because that’s who I am. Be as transparent as you can on your first date and I promise, they will like you (unless they’re a jerk, so you aren’t losing much). Being a “nice girl” is the biggest mistake I’ve made in my dating career because the truth is, I’m not a nice girl. I’m not polite, quiet and I don’t put up with bad behavior. When I decided that I didn’t want to lie to my dates, I started having more fun and people liked me more. Trust me, you are worth a second date as you are. You don’t have to pretend to be someone else to be liked.
2. Focus on having fun.
Ninety-nine percent of the time, first dates involve fun activities, so have a good time. It’s hard to put down the huge pack of anxiety and fear we bring on dates, I know. Still, the best remedy to my anxiety has always been escaping in joy. Let yourself live a little. Laugh a lot and have a good time.
3. Talk about the second date while you’re on the first date
Your date is never going to ask you out again if they think you aren’t interested, so give them signs that you like them. Joke around, listen to them, ask sincere questions and find out what you have in common. Talking about movies is my go to move; if they haven’t seen my favorite movie, I say “we have to watch it together” and if they are down, they’ll agree. Boom, second date.
4. Leave them wanting more.
Don’t let the date go on for too long, if you can help it. The last thing you want is to have your date exhausted by the end of the night, so keep things short. Be sure to give them time to talk, too. Don’t reveal too much about yourself, remember, they should want to get to know you more.
5. This date doesn’t determine your worth
Not every date is going to end well. Not every date will be fun. But your confidence shouldn’t come from whether or not you’re going out with someone. Your worth is not dependent on people’s opinions of you. Dates are great, second dates are better and being confident in yourself is best.
Emily White is a junior studying English and broadcast journalism. She is currently serving as the senior writer for the Lifestyles section of the Statesman.
—emily.white@usu.edu