Headlines I wanted to see, some headlines still to come

Tradition for the year’s final paper at The Utah Statesman calls for a few words on the headlines we-or at least I-would have liked to see come to pass during the school year in Aggie athletics. Agree or disagree, I don’t care. I simply thank you for caring enough to read the sports section this year. Headlines I wanted to see Riley Nelson makes surprise appearance as skydiver into Romney Stadium before Game 1 against UNLV, leads Aggies to victory and, eventually, a 6-6 season topped off with a bowl appearance. Aggie football fields final kickoff against San Jose State and holds on for a rare and precious victory. WAC commissioner Karl Benson resigns due to inability to enforce what he called a “Sportsmanship Initiative.” Fed up with years and years of horrible officiating, Aggie play-by-play man Al Lewis jumps out from his courtside seat and initiates fistfight with referee. Jaycee Carroll gets a WAC title and first-round NCAA Tournament victory to end his USU career. -or- Jaycee Carroll makes last-second shot against Illinois State, then leads Aggies to NIT Championship game in Madison Square Garden. Karl Malone is granted emergency eligibility to help raise Louisiana Tech’s men’s basketball program from the dust. Former USU athletic director Randy Spetman works out deal to have Florida State come to Logan to play the Aggies in basketball and football every other year, thus helping improve the basketball team’s RPI. BYU comes to the Spectrum to get an well-deserved beat down. Men’s basketball team shows up against Utes Dec. 5, comes away with convincing win. Ute head coach Jim Boylen is prescribed Ridellin to limit the number of times he jumps up and down during games. UCLA makes chip-shot field goal at end of game to beat BYU in the Las Vegas Bowl. In his 30th season as head coach of USU gymnastiscs, Ray Corn leads team to Nationals. Headlines I’m glad I didn’t see Brent Guy, fed up with loss after loss, goes on Bobby Knight-like rampage with the media after 52-0 Senior Day loss to Boise State. (As a side note, coach Guy handled postgame interviews with great composure). Football team goes 0-12 for first time in school history. New Mexico State mens’ basketball team wins WAC Tournament. BYU men’s basketball team gets over the hump for first-round victory over Texas A&M. Headlines that will come to pass if pigs fly in the 2008-09 school year A reliable quarterback emerges for USU. For first time in a while, nobody gets kicked off football team for drugs or other various means of breaking the law. Aggie football finishes 6-6, qualifies for bowl game for first time since 1997. Brent Guy gets five-year contract extension for the fruits of his season. Men’s basketball team makes a Final Four appearance. Reagan Pebley leads women’s basketball team to winning season, gets five-year extension. Headline that we will see next year With new assistant coach Tom Peterson, volleyball team makes it to WAC championship game before losing to the Hawaii Rainbow Wahine. Chants at basketball games around the WAC stay the same as always, Benson watches in awe. Sammy Hislop is a junior majoring in public relations. Send him comments at samuel.hislop@aggiemail.usu.edu