HITCHED – Dating after a mission
Finding love is a difficult journey with many road bumps that can cause you to turn around and try again.
Going on a mission can be difficult as well; after all, you are leaving everything behind to go to a new place for one to two years. The two combined might make love seem impossible, but many returned missionaries have learned that, no matter how hard it might seem, it’s possible to find love.
Klaus VanZanten is the video and production manager for Student Media at USU. He served a mission before attending school and came back to find that many eligible girls were a lot younger than him, so dating seemed a bit worrisome. He then met his soon-to-be wife, Sydney. She was also in video production and their aspirations were similar. Suddenly, the stars aligned.
“You don’t want to hop into anything,” said VanZanten. “A lot of missionaries come home and immediately start looking for a wife. I think it’s important to wait and not be impatient. You want to make sure she’s the one and that she will call you out when you are in the wrong. You also want to make sure that you like her family, she likes yours and your families like each other. You’re gonna be with each other for a long time, after all.”
Some returned missionaries look at the dating scene with optimism. Logan Jones, a recent graduate, returned from his mission with a positive attitude.
“Sometimes people leave on missions still in relationships and I’m sure that’s something that weighs on their mind,” said Jones. “I think it’s best to sever all ties since so much can change in the time apart.”
He continued by saying that returning to dating isn’t that big of a deal if you go in with the right mindset.
“If finding love is your singular focus, as it sometimes is with returned missionaries, then sure, there’s probably a lot of self-imposed pressure to become overly social and go on frequent dates. Everyone has a comfort zone they struggle to leave, but dating after a mission is just a part of life.” Jones said.
Even so, Jones never considered the age gap a factor in dating after serving a mission.
“I’m sure it can be difficult being a 21-year-old freshman in college alongside a host of recent high school graduates,” said Jones.
Returned missionary Darcie Hawks would agree.
“I feel like I am older than most of the guys who came home at the same time as me,” Hawks said. “They all left when they were barely 18 and got home at barely 20, while I just came back and am almost 21. It is weird.”
Beyond that, Hawks admitted that it is scary to think about marriage now that she’s returned from her mission.
“I think there is definitely some loneliness that comes right after a mission since we are so used to being with someone 24/7. Dating after the mission is much scarier because I don’t have a mission between me and marriage anymore, so dating has a much more long-term perspective, which is terrifying,” said Hawks.
Regardless of when you return from your mission, dating is not off the table. Whether you struggle to find someone or can make a connection right away, take pride in knowing that everyone moves at their own pace. That special someone is out there and one day you’ll find them.
@Dillydahle