How to eat spicy wings

It was Sept. 17 – Boneless Thursday, one of Buffalo Wild Wings’ genius marketing tactics.

My friends and I were placing our orders online when I thought, “Why not try something, like, super spicy? That’d be fun.”

So I did.

Mango Habanero is not the spiciest flavor. Above it on the hotness scale are Wild and Blazin,’ which they urge you to “keep away from eyes, pets and children.” The description for Mango Habanero on Buffalo Wild Wings’ website reads, “Feel the burn, savor the sweet: Two sensations, one sauce.”

While I would not recommend eating Mango Habanero for pleasure, I know that some of you will (you rebels, you). Therefore, I have some suggestions for those of you wanting to try it.

Eat fast. I ate my wings whole. Really. I just shoved the whole thing in there at once. If you have multiple wings, chew and swallow fast. The heat will take a minute to hit you, but the less time it spends in your mouth, the less sauce there is to coat your cheeks and tongue. That being said, you may want to savor the sweetness of the mango while you can.

Drool. This is a tactic a friend of mine tried, and apparently it helps. If you’re in the comfort of your home, find a sink and simply drool — it’s your mouth’s way of sweating out the heat.

Don’t drink water. Guzzling cold water may refresh your mouth at first, but it won’t wash away the heat. The spiciness of the habanero is in the oils of the sauce. Instead, try bread or dairy, especially yogurt. But I’m going to cut you straight — the remedies really don’t do much to help. It’s going to feel like hellfire no matter what. Your throat will tighten, your gums will burn and you’ll probably cry.

Or just don’t. Instead, you could go with the sweet and sticky honey BBQ (my staple). There’s also the well-seasoned parmesan garlic, or the exotic Caribbean Jerk — really, any other option. But if you’re willing experience the pain, Mango Habanero is probably the most palatable of the spicy sauces at Buffalo Wild Wings.

For footage of this experience, visit UtahStatesman.com.