How to have great sex
If sex is uncomfortable, painful or awkward, don’t give up. It may be time to go for help.
Dr. Anne Blackette from the Cache Valley Women’s Center said if a couple is having pain with sex, they should seek professional medical help. There are a variety of treatable medical reasons for problems with sex.
Urinary tract infections and pelvic infections can cause pain or burning during sex and are treated with antibiotics.
Hormone creams, anesthetics and vitamins can all be used to help stretch scar tissue that may have come from childbirth or surgery.
She said couples with anatomical problems such as the uterus being unusually positioned are advised to try different positions to find something that is more comfortable.
Hypersensitivity of the vulval nerves is sometimes treatable with medication.
Once physical issues have been ruled out, couples may need to seek help from a therapist to find out if there are emotional problems.
Kim Openshaw, associate professor in Family, Consumer and Human Development and therapist at the Marriage and Family Therapy Clinic, said communication about sexuality and sexual expectations is key.
One problem may simply be a lack of information about how the male and female anatomy works, he said. Openshaw recommended couples buy a textbook or comprehensive book on sex. While it may not sound romantic, he said it is critical that people understand their partner’s sexual response.
Communicating about what the expectations are in the relationship is also critical. Some issues to discuss are who is responsible for contraception, frequency of sex, what type of sex is desired, or how to communicate if one partner does not want to have sex.
Emotional trauma from previous experience, such as sexual abuse, should be discussed, or it could lead to negative reactions during sex and possible further emotional damage.