It wouldn’t be a party if someone wasn’t naked
Tradition.
It’s not just for the well-behaved.
During Eric Ruben’s bachelor party, he said a friend almost got arrested for running naked through a grocery store, due to a traditional dare game played at all his friends’ bachelor parties.
“He was chased by two security guards, but he had a get-away car at the other entrance and they were unable to catch him,” the junior in electrical engineering said. “That was the closest we have ever been to being caught. It was scary because if it had been me, I might have been caught, and I could have spent my wedding day in jail.”
The traditional game, called Stupid Flip, is one of many traditions Ruben said is essential to a good bachelor party. While the guys stand in a circle, Ruben said each flips the same quarter, ultimately eliminating anyone who flips tails. As the circle shrinks, Ruben said the last man standing is dubbed the “stupid guy” and has to complete a predetermined activity.
“The activity always involves taking your clothes off in some way and usually going in public places without your clothes on,” the newlywed said. “It wouldn’t be a bachelor party if you didn’t, at some point, take your clothes off. It just wouldn’t be the same.
“I think maybe the risk is part of the exhilaration, part of what makes the bachelor party,” he said. “Not just being naked, but doing something you don’t normally do naked.”
Bachelor and bachelorette parties traditionally serve as rites of passage from single life into married life. Usually thrown by a sibling or best friend of the bride or groom, each party differs in entertainment, games, food and drink. What can help to make a bachelor or bachelorette party memorable, however, are strong traditions.
Another tradition Ruben said happens at bachelor parties he attends is eating well.
“We always start with a restaurant where some kind of meat products are in abundance,” he said.
At the restaurant, Ruben said his friends traditionally give gifts to the groom. Another tradition his friends always do is give the prospective groom an inflatable doll to sit beside him during dinner. The doll serves as a “plastic pretend wife” during the groom’s meal, Ruben said.
“You have to do stuff you wouldn’t normally do to make it a bachelor party,” Ruben said. “Whether that be getting naked, which is almost always the case for my friends, there has to be something to set the night apart to make it worthy of the day that will follow. That day that will follow is once in a lifetime. The bachelor party should (also) be something that is once in a lifetime.”
Jessica Lamph, a senior in interior design, said tradition also plays a big part in throwing bachelorette parties. First, Lamph said a bachelorette party should traditionally be more “kinky” than the usual bridal shower. Second, having the party at a cool location is what Lamph said helps kick up the excitement. The parties Lamph said she has attended with her high school friends are usually sleepovers in hotel rooms. The rooms, Lamph said, are paid for by everyone but the bride. Third on the list are traditional activities and games, like truth and dare, which Lamph said can serve as the most entertaining parts of the evening.
“(We play) pin the you-know-what on the guy,” Lamph said. “All my girlfriends at home, we put the guy they are marrying’s head on this male model poster and pin the you-know-what on them. That was just fun because we’ve done it for all the girls.”
Another tradition Lamph said occurs at these parties is eating cake shaped like a particular male body part. This shape is meant to amuse, Lamph said.
“As kinky as that is, it makes it a fun party.”
Although Lamph said none of her friends have been offended during these traditional activities, she also said catering to the group’s standards will help ensure that no one feels uncomfortable or awkward.
“It depends on what kind of people are there,” she said. “If you all have the same attitudes and beliefs about things then I think it’s fine. I went to one bachelorette party where I definitely felt a little bit awkward because I was the only girl there that hadn’t done anything and these girls didn’t have the same standards (as me). For some people it can be uncomfortable. Some of the things you do at those, if you’ve never behaved in that way before, you’re like, ‘Woah, this is kind of different.’
“When you get invited to one of those you just kind of figure that kind of stuff and content will be around,” Lamph said. “If you don’t want it, don’t go.”
The bachelorette party serves as the last time when the girls can get together and have fun being girls, Lamph said.
“After that, when you get married, you don’t have a lot of girl time,” she said. “You prep the girl basically for what’s to come.”
Ruben said an important thing to remember while planning such a party is to plan it a few days before the wedding instead of the night before.
“You don’t always love your own bachelor party. You mostly love going to other people’s bachelor’s party,” Ruben said. “First off all, you’re kind of nervous for your own wedding and you kind of just want to go home and get some sleep before the big day, so you’re not really into the activities of the night as much as the spectators are.”
Lamph said her piece of advice is to not think of everything in a literal sense.
“Just be open-minded. Look at it as a fun opportunity to be with the girls. It’s a celebration for the bride. It’s not about you, so make the whole event fun for her.”
Bachelorette parties used to be called hen night and stemmed from the bachelor party, or stag night, which has been around longer than the bachelorette party. According to “Marriage Customs of the World,” by George P. Monger, such parties formally began to be seen in the last part of the 20th century. These parties helped mark the end of the single life. According to Monger, during traditional stag nights, it is custom for friends to play jokes on the groom or try to get him very drunk.
A party similar to today’s bachelorette party can be found in Finland and is called a Polterabend party, according to “Customs.” Also called the noisy party, the Polterabend has been changed over the years, originally starting out as a feast put on by the bride’s families usually on the night before the wedding. In Finland, the Polterabend party includes the bridesmaids taking the bride from place to place throughout the town at night. The bride is dressed in a costume and tries to collect money on her way.
Although bachelor and bachelorette parties differ depending on taste, each makes its mark as a celebration of ending one chapter of life and beginning another.
“I wouldn’t change anything because they’re legendary,” Ruben said. “At some point, we always talk about past bachelor parties, and we don’t talk about any old time we have hung out. There is something different about it.”
-britg@cc.usu.edu